I realised that a lot of my concerns and problems are usually just happening in my head and not actually in the moment that I am considering them.
Have you ever noticed how much stress you create for yourself when projecting thoughts and ideas into the future? When you have thoughts about what you will do, what will happen and how you will fix something you are creating possible outcomes in your head and therefore you are creating the possibility of potential problems for yourself that don’t yet exist. How do you fix a problem that doesn’t exist except for as a scenario in your mind?
Maybe that sounds a bit harsh.
When you stop and think about it and notice that you may be sitting in an empty room, laying in bed, driving to work or involved in an activity or not. The quality of that experience is down to the thoughts you are entertaining in that moment . Your mind and body will react as if your thoughts are real when actually there is usually nothing happening.
We are creating our own hell or joy in every moment depending on where our attention is focused. When we add potentials to our life through fear, doubt and worry, it can be very disruptive and cause us to feel anxious, even if nothing is actually happening around us to cause distress.
Learning to step back and look at the present moment reality and asking; what do I need to do now to make this moment any better than it is,? Can help us come back to what is happening, and see that we are safe and not threatened at that time, then the stress, anxiety or depression we are feeling can dissipate.
Yes there may be bills to pay, and jobs to do but do they need done in this moment? We can’t fix something that is not happening. We can only mull over potential outcomes and create stress in ourselves because we mostly dwell on the worse case scenario. This keeps us trapped in stress, anxiety and worry without a pleasing outcome.
Instead, make a plan. Take charge and create actions that will take you closer to the outcomes you desire. If you continually go over and over the same problem without a question or direction that moves you forward then you will be stuck in that cycle until something in your thoughts changes.
As an example, I was walking home after already walking 7 miles. I could feel a blister on my foot. I was exhausted and felt like I was dragging myself. I noticed that my mind was thinking – I’ll never get back home I’m still about a mile away, and my foot is killing me… I could feel my body tense against each step and the resistance in me to carry on was getting strong. In that moment I took a deep breathe and started saying to myself over and over -there is only this moment and there is only this step.
My breathing relaxed, and my body relaxed. When I took the thought of time and the overwhelm of the whole journey out of my mind, and took one step after another in the present moment, I made it home fine.
When we add thoughts of the future to our life we create imbalances and dis-satisfaction within us, and then react to the overwhelm that is caused, when actually we are only imagining it and it is not anything we have to concern ourselves with in this moment.
Our thoughts when unmonitored create most of our problems. When we realise that our thoughts are the result of a conditioned human mind, and not who we are, detaching from them can become easier.