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Late Bloomer Problems

The struggles of fighting through my cocoon in Life.

#latebloomerprobz 

I’m a serial late bloomer. I’m a late bloomer to makeup. I’m a late bloomer to relationships. I’m a late bloomer to careers, YouTube, and social media just to name a few. In general, I’m a late bloomer to life! You name it; I’m a late bloomer to it. I used to wonder, if there were others that could relate to my struggles. It can be frustrating when you feel like literally everyone is kicking ass at life. Meanwhile, life is just passing you by. There’s no need in sulking about it really. I like to have competitions with others to see if they can out-late bloom me. Here’s everything that I was hecka late to. Can you beat this?

SOCIAL MEDIA

When I initially started in the vlogosphere, I thought I would create a YouTube “lifestyle channel.” I started with all the greats, like Shameless Maya, Jackie Aina, etc., etc., and guess what happened? They surpassed me! By the time I realized folks were building brands , and doing video responses for sponsorships, YouTube put the kibosh on all of that by making it’s “algorithm” the gate keeper. Just my damn luck! I could have been the next Shane Dawson… 🤷🏽‍♀️

COLLEGE

I was also late to college. No, not like late to class. I mean like I was old as hell when I went. Okay, maybe not old AS HELL. But, I was definitely well into my adulthood when I did attend. I didn’t have any role models to look up to, and going to college wasn’t something that was heavily advocated growing up. Listen, Late Bloomies, if you went to college in your 30s and after, you gets all the praise. Listening to an 18 year old philosophize about life and their struggles, or call you “momma” because you entertain them by being the “Dr.Phil” to their issues, deserves a Nobel Peace Prize. I mean the levels of patience is SO REAL. 🤦🏽‍♀️

POP CULTURE

I was raised in a strict church, so I missed out on A LOT of interesting pop culture. Sometimes my husband will do these funny one-liners from movies or TV shows he’s seen that Regulars (Note-I am now going to defer to all non-Late Bloomers as Regulars) have seen. Is there an opposite word for late bloomers? I don’t know. Anyway, I basically missed out on ALL of the 90’s . I never listened to, or even heard of NWA. I never saw the Simpsons.  (Not that I am remotely sad about this.) I never saw X-Files. (Psyche, I snuck and watched. But viewing was never comfortable. I was always scared my mom would catch me), and the most egregious of it all, I never went to prom. 😢 And I only recently saw the movie “Boomerang” for the first time. So not only does my child prodigy card get revoked, but my Black card does too. WHOMP.

MAKEUP

Honey, I don’t know why I ever considered starting a YouTube channel, when I hadn’t even remotely bloomed into my full makeup woman-dom. I very recently started learning about sophisticated makeup techniques like contour and highlighting. I really thought I was SO CUTE with my little Target brushes. 💄Like, you really couldn’t tell me anything…and I was 30. I only learned now, that those drugstore brushes are not the business! Why didn’t anyone tell me about #Morphe brushes?! Oh, people talked. I was just late to listen, cause, you know, #latebloomerprobz 

Anyways, you guys, being a late bloomer 🌸 is nothing to be ashamed about! If
You’re stressing about being a late bloomer – DON’T. We are to be nurtured, and should be respected for our wisdom and our wrinkles. I am 💯% here for you! Late bloomers shouldn’t be judged or shamed. They need a safe haven, where they are free to be themselves and ask questions. Well, welcome to my life! I’m making it my mission to unite late bloomers all around the world. I will be onboarding you to the new season in your life. Come aboard for the ride.

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