As I age and am trying to get this whole adulting thing right, I realize many important life lessons were left untold growing up. So I created my own philosophy and belief system. This is my foundation, a bit of me. I'm sharing it with all of you today, in case you are in need of a kind reminder, as I often am.
Whether it’s a friendship, a romance, or professional, building genuine relationships can be hard, and sometimes scary! No one likes the feeling of being vulnerable. However, to receive you must give. Beware, don’t give too much. Not everyone deserves to know you or your story, the things that set your heart on fire, or what keeps you up at night. There will be those that take no interest, have other intentions or that truly can’t understand. If you continue to give to them, they will take. There will also be those who you intrigue and inspire and they will come to you and want to know more. Be vigilant for those people. Hold them close.
You will be surprised at how they can also inspire you.
Do it. Anytime and to anywhere that you can. I like to think of myself as Hannah the explorer :) . In every sense of the word. In the most conventional way, I love to roam this world, constantly in awe of all its majesty. I find myself constantly pushing limits, challenging my truths and exploiting my capacities in the constant exploration of self. And I now find that I explore others, through this, I have learned a great deal, not only about them, but about me.
Please don’t go out there searching for something, hoping that this world and its beauty will fill a void. That lies within you. The most epic journey and adventure is the journey within. Explore yourself. But also, the world, and let it be your teacher.
Be open to the lessons.
All the cliches are true, everything is temporary, and what doesn’t kill you will make you strong. Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.
Remember, happiness is a mood. Like the weather, it changes. As depressing as that can sound it is also true for sadness and anger. One of the hardest life lessons that I have had to painfully learn over and over is that just like in an airplane, you must put your own mask on before helping others with theirs. If I can give you one piece of advice about day to day life, avoid comparisons. Comparisons are the thieves of all happiness. They will leave you jealous, bitter, confused and unproductive. Stop it. Don’t compare your hardships or triumphs to anyone else.
The cliches are true… you don’t know the battles anyone else is fighting.
Beautiful people aren’t born, they are molded. And that mold is often casted in pain, disappointment, and heartache. But the results are often masterpieces.
I know it’s real. It is the muse for so many songs, poems, movies, and books. But I think one of the most important people that deserve your love, is you. Once you fall in love with yourself and all your corks, wonders and complexities, you open up to seeing them in others. I also think it’s healthy to get it wrong a few times. That’s the only way we can learn about what we need and value in a life partner, which I suppose is a common goal for many.
Rarely the one you spend the rest of your life with is the first person you fall in love with. They might not be your first love but I would like to think they will be the love that makes all other loves seem irrelevant.
As with everything and anything, life is about perspective. l had to come to terms with my unrealistic expectations. I am working on letting them go as I can be so unfair, not only to others but to myself. At times we create the characteristics we want out of the people in our daily lives. We see them for what we want and not necessarily who they are. You might even do this with yourself. Reflect as much as you can and be brutally honest. Your future self will thank you.
As far as failure, it’s going to happen. And if you are doing things right, it will happen often. There will be times when everything will look like a disaster and you will be absolutely confused as to what the future holds for you. But this just means that you are on the right track. It’s normal.
It is a wonderful thing that you can become better from what you learn.
Even when life seems overwhelming, every bit of confusion, every moment of doubt and every hour of effort is worth it. Even in the darkest hours, I can promise you that everything will be okay. It always is, isn’t it? That is the only thing that is for certain. Things always turn out as they should. Not always as we want, but always as we need.
Also, find people to surround yourself with who empower others. When times get tough, sometimes all we need is someone to talk to and lean on for support.
I grew up in a family where we were taught not to hang our dirty laundry out to dry. But there might be someone out there that knows how to get a stain or two out, you won’t know unless you let it hang.