As a Divorce & Narcissist recovery coach, when somebody comes to me for relationship advice, I always begin with my core belief.
‘Listen when somebody is telling you who they really are.’ Maya Angelou.
When I read Maya Angelou’s words, they hit me right in my heart, as never a truer word has been stated.
I am guilty of committing this crime, of not listening to who my partner truly was. I didn’t want to hear the truth, I wanted to hear what I wanted and more importantly, what I wanted to be the truth. This then creates a relationship that is difficult to last for the long haul, as the foundation is not solid to begin with.
Working with both male and female clients, guiding them as they navigate unhappy and unhealthy relationships, the most common quote I hear is ‘I saw the signs but I ignored them.’ Why? The same response. ‘By then I was in love with him/her and too invested in the relationship.’ The cause for this – simple – they had not truly listened to who the person was when they initially entered into the relationship.
If you are entering into a new relationship, please practice the act of mindfulness. Stop, be still and listen with all your heart. Listen to the exact words your partner are saying and telling you, because that is exactly who they are!
If a man or woman says ‘They don’t want children,’ take this as a fact. If you do want children don’t waste another moment of your life, there are millions others out in the world who will have the same desire as you.
The key to following through on my advice is as we become evolved human beings in touch with our emotional intelligence, our listening skills will lead us in the right direction.
I wish you well in your new relationship.