Katherine Bihlmeier: “The most important thing is to get present with your life”

Staying in mediocre relationships often has to do with an unconscious fear. There are addictions, there are co-dependencies, certain belief systems which hold it in place… And sometimes it’s about an inner agreement between the people on a financial or emotional basis… But for sure, most relationships are not based on honest relating. As a […]

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Staying in mediocre relationships often has to do with an unconscious fear. There are addictions, there are co-dependencies, certain belief systems which hold it in place… And sometimes it’s about an inner agreement between the people on a financial or emotional basis… But for sure, most relationships are not based on honest relating.

As a part of my series about “How To Learn To Finally Love Yourself” I had the pleasure to interview Katherine Bihlmeier.Katherine works with people who are ready to step out of the anxious, fear-based and limited survival mode to find out what else is possible in life, live their full potential, and rejoice in the miracle of each day. As a certified Access Consciousness Bars and Body Process Facilitator, and a transformational life-changer with over 20 years of expertise, she is authoring an upcoming book “The Soul on Fire” — an inspirational pragmatic guide for life transformation from feeling lost and overwhelmed, to waking up each morning excited to be alive and living a truly orgastic life. Katherine teaches and speaks at events on a wide array of topics, such as fulfilled relationships, conscious parenting, holistic approach to business, self-empowerment, and potential development; she travels the world creating multiple projects and spreading joy and consciousness everywhere she goes.

Thank you so much for joining us! I’d love to begin by asking you to give us the backstory as to what brought you to this specific career path.

I would say that my career path developed with my life path, and there was never a separation between those two. I was always a seeker and I’ve been exploring various jobs and professions, always collecting pieces of the puzzle and getting more conscious of my gifts and capacities.

About 20 years ago I found myself in a very challenging time, where I finally chose to go for my life and to recognize that I do have great capacities to contribute to people to change their lives! I started working with various healers, spiritual teachers, and also doctors, bringing a new approach to their practice with clients and patients.

I truly believe that everyone has their own wisdom, capacities, and skills which they come to Earth with. Those gifts are just waiting for you to get in touch with them and remember what you know. What would the world look like if everyone lived their capacities and wisdom and brought that out into the world? What could we then create?

I wrote a longer post about my life path on the blog on my website, where you can read more details about my journey.

Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you hope that they might help people along their path to self-understanding or a better sense of wellbeing in their relationships?

All my courses and classes, no matter the area of life they are covering, are always aligned so that people get more conscious. To allow and love yourself more and stop judging yourself.

Currently, I just went live with a very special project, which is a 12-day self-love challenge, created for you to finally have the space to love yourself and your body. The live class will probably be over by the time the interview has been published. Though we will also make it available in the shop on my website.

Do you have a personal story that you can share with our readers about your struggles or successes along your journey of self-understanding and self-love? Was there ever a tipping point that triggered a change regarding your feelings of self-acceptance?

Absolutely! About 17 years ago, I was living in a sort of a “miss-marriage”. It was in fact a very passive-aggressive emotional dependency. I was so disconnected from myself. My soul cried for change. I started asking questions and speaking to the Universe… and things started to move. It was a slow process of coming back to myself, having more connection with my body… It was also about stopping with the old behavior — like taking my husband’s passive aggression and emotions and unconsciously trying to transform them. So when I stopped processing it all for him, his aggression started coming out openly.

The tipping point was when I saw his hands on my throat, me being pressed against the wall, and him telling me that he’s holding himself back because any other husband would smash his wife’s head. At that moment, there was an inner shift in me, where I finally saw what I have been creating for my body and my life. I said: “No more of that. No more abuse”. From that moment on, I went on a journey of continuous waking up, 10 years of healing, workshops, transformation…

According to a recent study cited in Cosmopolitan, in the US, only about 28 percent of men and 26 percent of women are “very satisfied with their appearance.” Could you talk about what some of the causes might be, as well as the consequences?

The entire system we live in and the mind-oriented world is mainly based on judgment, being not enough, not good, feeling wrong… The main platform in which everyone lives is: “I need to get better. I’m not good enough. I’m wrong, no matter what I do. I need to do everything to make it right and finally be right.” This causes a lot of stress in the body. It creates all these lies, pretending, role-playing… and it leads to the disconnection from your true inner being, which is totally perfect and a master as it is. My work is about guiding you to see the gifts and the greatness of yourself, as you are. There’s nothing to fix and change. You truly are a miracle.

As cheesy as it might sound to truly understand and “love yourself,” can you share with our readers a few reasons why it’s so important?

I’d love to reply with a question for the readers: “What would the world, our relating with the world, with each other, and with ourselves be like, if we all lived from our heart?”

Tune into this question. What do you know about that?

Why do you think people stay in mediocre relationships? What advice would you give to our readers regarding this?

Staying in mediocre relationships often has to do with an unconscious fear. There are addictions, there are co-dependencies, certain belief systems which hold it in place… And sometimes it’s about an inner agreement between the people on a financial or emotional basis… But for sure, most relationships are not based on honest relating.

My question is: if you had just 2 more months to live, and you asked your heart and soul: “With whom would you like to be? Where and how would I spend my time? What would I like to visit, and see? How would I like it all to be?” …Would that match what you’re living now?

Would you be willing to still stay in a mediocre relationship, just to tell yourself everything is alright with you and you’re like everyone else? Is it really true that you don’t deserve and can’t have better? Or is this a lie that keeps you from changing anything in your life?

If you went beyond the lie, would you step into the new and unfamiliar space of not knowing what is going to happen and unfold..? And could that be the adventure of your life, getting more alive again, discovering more of the greatness you truly are and finding out that you are so great and wise?

That’s often a great step to take and remember — you don’t have to do it alone. Find people who will encourage you and be there for you. I often meet my clients at exactly this tipping point in their life. So many of them changed their lives, and I’m telling you — you can do it, too. Many of the clients who met in my group workshops became friends and are there for one another in making these new steps and experiences. It’s so heart-warming to see them grow and show up more in their lives.

When I talk about self-love and understanding I don’t necessarily mean blindly loving and accepting ourselves the way we are. Many times self-understanding requires us to reflect and ask ourselves the tough questions, to realize perhaps where we need to make changes in ourselves to be better not only for ourselves but our relationships. What are some of those tough questions that will cut through the safe space of comfort we like to maintain, that our readers might want to ask themselves? Can you share an example of a time that you had to reflect and realize how you needed to make changes?

The more honest you get and the more clarity you’re willing to receive from yourself, the easier you can consciously choose differently. All the things which are showing up in your life are never wrong — they are just requiring your attention and your willingness to have a look at what you’ve created that for. Most of the time, we unconsciously create many aspects of our lives. And the universe delivers exactly what we require to move on, to wake up and come home — which is in your heart, aligned with your higher consciousness.

Here are some questions to play with. “Universe, show me my greatness? What do I truly desire to live? What am I not willing to receive? What is right about this whole situation? What is it that I’m getting out of still choosing this? What do I get out of choosing the same every day? If I truly would be willing to receive my entire being, how would I then love to create my life and what would I truly desire to live?”

When you ask questions, never look for the answers. Don’t go into your mind and try to figure it out. There’s never a problem to solve. It’s just about creating a greater willingness in yourself to create the life you actually came here to live.

So many don’t really know how to be alone, or are afraid of it. How important is it for us to have, and practice, that capacity to truly be with ourselves and be alone (literally or metaphorically)?

This question can just show up because of a human belief that we need to take care of ourselves on our own and that there‘s nobody here for us… Most the human beings are living from their mind and ego, which creates a separation from everything and everyone, from your being, wisdom, naturally caring, and love… What’s required is that we stop living from our ego and drop into our inner self instead, where we are connected with our heart, with the Universe, nature, other beings — all from a totally new space of possibilities. What is already occurring on the planet, is that more people are waking up and seeing that our behavior is not creating what we truly desire. More and more people want to change that and create a paradise on earth, which starts and happens within themselves anyway.

And I have a question for you. When you were a small child, just coming to this world, did you need to love yourself? Was self-love not simply your natural state of being? As a baby, did you ever see yourself doing something wrong, or were you just being who you truly are, from a totally innocent place? And isn’t that absurd that now as grown-ups, we need to learn to start loving ourselves again? So what happened in between? I’m looking at that, as if we’ve all been brainwashed in the process and our entire upbringing and education and society did everything so that we don’t live our innocence and our natural being anymore, and forget our mastery and our natural heart intelligence.

Is now the time to come back to it? I truly believe that if you came to Earth with this natural way of being, then it may not be about learning to love yourself, but more to reconnect with the source within you, coming back, receiving it, and living it.

How does achieving a certain level of self-understanding and self-love then affect your ability to connect with and deepen your relationships with others?

The deeper level would be the one where you don’t come from your mind. Our mind loves to control everything, fix things, invent problems, dramas, and tragedies… If you live from your heart, everything is in allowance, and natural authenticity. So is it really about self-understanding, or rather exploring how your whole being is? With all your capacities, your caring heart and your amazing allowance. Remember, there are 5 elements of intimacy that I’ve discussed in another interview here. Start playing with each of the elements for yourself. When you allow yourself to receive more of you in total allowance and gratitude, then you’re for sure going to have it with everyone you meet as well.

By the way, we’re always talking about love — and I’m not so keen on this word, as everyone attaches so many meanings and experiences to it. For me, the program of the word „love“ doesn’t have anything to do with true gratitude. If you tell someone: „I love you“, is that going to stick them? And if you tell them: „Hey, I’m so grateful for you“ — does that bring more expansion to their life?

Maybe you can play with one of my favorite tools for a few weeks. Set an hourly reminder on your phone. When it rings, take moment to breathe into your heart, reconnect, and have a look at what makes you grateful for yourself at that moment.

In your experience, what should a) individuals and b) society, do to help people better understand themselves and accept themselves?

Start getting conscious. How, you may ask? Be more present. Work on your awareness and consciousness in order to expand it. Be here more. Observe what you’re doing. Ask more questions. Allow receiving more of yourself. Be willing to be in allowance to truly see what is going on in your life, without judgment.

And for society — wake up! See your lies, your programs, your patterns. Choose differently. I love recommending this tool: always ask in the morning: “Universe, show me my greatness! What greatness can I be today? What greatness can I choose today?”

What are 5 strategies that you implement to maintain your connection with and love for yourself, that our readers might learn from? Could you please give a story or example for each?

I’ve already listed above the practical steps and tools that I use daily!

The most important thing is to get present with your life. If you’re not willing to look at it, it won’t change.

What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources for self-psychology, intimacy, or relationships? What do you love about each one and how does it resonate with you?

I’m teaching a self-practice, which is very easy to do by yourself, and which allows you to expand your awareness and consciousness, and at the same time relax your mind, body, and spirit, and open yourself and your life to new possibilities.

When it comes to books, I’m currently finishing the manuscript of my first book “The Soul on Fire”, which is to be published in early 2021. It’s a beautiful invitation to come home to yourself and what your life truly is about. I write a lot about intimacy and relationships, which first of all start with yourself.

I’ve also started a podcast called “Living Beyond This Reality”. In the podcast, we cover various topics, and the main invitation is always to explore what else is possible beyond what we’ve been taught life is. If you were truly living what you came here for, what would your life look like? Would you bother with the mindsets, rules, and realities of others? Most of the episodes are about how we relate to ourselves and to others and what that practically creates in our lives. “Living Beyond This Reality” podcast is all about inspiring you to look beyond what you’ve been choosing in all areas of your life.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? Maybe we’ll inspire our readers to start it…

I love joking with my clients that I’m a “consciousness dealer”. They come to me for insights, inspiration, and sometimes also a firm nudge to choose even more in their lives. It’s easy for people to distract or deceive themselves about where they stand. Sometimes, on our own, we don’t see how limited and conditioned our choices are — and I love bringing consciousness in and inviting people to go beyond what they think and make real. Some of my long-term clients couldn’t even in their wildest dreams imagine how many doors opened up for them and how they live today, compared to how they felt and where they were when we first met. And that’s what I’d like to see even more of in the world. People consciously creating their lives.

So my invitation is to focus on consciousness in your life. Look beyond, ask more questions. There are no limitations. The more conscious you are, the more conscious choices you can make. Every choice you make creates your life and also ripples out into the world. And nothing is ever wrong. With each step, you can get aware of what your choices have created and then choose new. And that way, YOU start to be the creator of your life.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote” that you use to guide yourself by? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life and how our readers might learn to live by it in theirs?

“Who has the courage of asking for the kingdom, is going to be delivered the paradise.”

“Start living from your inner source and surrender to the higher guidance, so you truly create new possibilities for your life, new realities, and get out of the “yuck”.”

By choosing different every day, and looking back at where I was 20 or 30 years ago, I could never have imagined being where I am now and being who I am now. Everything starts with a choice. Start choosing from your heart, and acting from your heart.

You can do it, one step at a time.

Thank you so much for your time and for your inspiring insights!

Thank you very much for reading through this pretty long interview! 

I’d love to spark more questions out of this conversation!

What comments and questions do you have for me? I’d love to hear from you, meet you, and create some magic together! Get in touch with me on Instagram or Messenger — I can’t wait to read from you!

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