When I was first hit with anxiety, I was only 22-years old.
I was so confused at the time.
I was inundated with feelings of worry, nervousness, dread and insecurity.
It was something I couldn’t really admit to or understand. But I think we are all anxious human beings naturally. Life can be so god damn hard. It’ll take you for a spin and throw some crazy hurdles, but it’s how we react and bounce back that makes all the difference right?
So five years ago, I decided to try putting pen to paper and upon reflection, it’s honestly transformed me. What started as a blank 365-journal from Kikki K slowly turned into a few sentences and eventually – full-blown daily journal entries. I knew this was the beginning of something greater than I had anticipated…. it was transformative.
What you think, you become. What you write, becomes reality. So why do we dance with such negativity? Tease the idea with great speculation. It’s as if we have let the bad monsters become us. You’ve got to find your inner strength again because this journey ain’t gonna be easy.
And you know what? The journey isn’t pretty every day. You will lose things. You will lose people. You will lose time. But never lose sight of hope. Never lose yourself in the process of becoming or allowing it to find your passions.
Of course, I don’t owe it all to journaling – along with this, I exercised frequently and made a life-changing decision to travel solo on a one-way ticket to South East Asia. I still journal most days now and have been for the past four years as a result of anxiety but I do believe that it’s improved my health in a lot of ways. Here are some things I observed about journaling over the years. Take note:
And generally? Just relive the good days of our lives that are otherwise lost, which has helped my self-confidence a great deal.
Now, everywhere I go I carry a journal or take notes. Now, when I’m sad, happy, angry or experienced something significant, I write. I used to hand-write daily and it dropped over time but I have many weathered books, from all over the world. Whenever I travel, I like to carry a tiny little book where I’d have people that truly touched my life write something in there.
Over time, I’ve realised two of the most important things in life can never be taken back: words and time. Why waste words? Why waste time? Write more. Feel the sadness. Feel the happiness. Scribble your learnings. Open the conversation. Connect. Break the stigma.
I guess I’ve learned many lessons through my journey and those around me. Many tales and stories that I would never have remembered if it wasn’t for the fact it was written. Some of the entries from my journals are from some special people I have met throughout my life. I’m very passionate about people. Curious to the human condition.
WHEN I’M SAD OR FEELING BOUTS OF ANXIETY, I GO BACK TO THESE FRACTIONS OF TIME, RAMBLINGS SPRAWLED THROUGHOUT MY DIARY AND I AM REMINDED OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN LIFE. FRIENDS, MEMORIES, EXPERIENCES, THOUGHTS, FEELINGS – YOU KNOW? LIFE GENERALLY ISN’T ALL THAT BAD.
Journaling, to me, is more than just a passion. It is my therapy. Although our words and articles may not all be read or felt by all, we can only try to break the stigma by allowing ourselves to feel and open up to one another. So reach out, ask questions, get out amongst nature, ask someone if they are ok, or find a creative outlet that allows you to heal along the way. It might take time but it just may be what the Doctor prescribed…