Joty Kay: “Don’t let those keyboard warriors get to you”

To feel beautiful you have to love yourself, plain and simple. I like to wake up in the morning and tell my self 3 affirmations. I look in the mirror and tell myself “you are beautiful, you are strong, you are a badass muthaf*** and don’t let anyone tell you any different.” It’s easy to […]

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To feel beautiful you have to love yourself, plain and simple. I like to wake up in the morning and tell my self 3 affirmations. I look in the mirror and tell myself “you are beautiful, you are strong, you are a badass muthaf*** and don’t let anyone tell you any different.” It’s easy to compare ourselves to others in today’s social media inflicted world. You just have to remind yourself you are one of a kind and that’s beautiful. That’s what makes me feel beautiful.

At times it feels like wellness or elevating one’s well being, is diametrically opposed to high achievement and high performance in one’s career. The stress, mental energy, long hours, lack of restful sleep and preoccupation that result from a high-achievement life seem to directly inhibit wellness. And yet, in order to sustain the creativity, flexibility, mental acuity and resilience that are necessary for high performance, wellness and wellbeing of the mind, body and soul are also mandatory. So how do we achieve both? This is the question I’m hoping to answer through conversations with high-achieving leaders and influencers who are practicing their own philosophies about how to maintain their wellbeing.

As a part of our series about “Social Media Influencers Share Their Top Self Care, Wellness, and Beauty Tips, I had the pleasure of interviewing Joty Kay.

Joty Kay an Indian entertainer who gained her popularity from Vine by having more than 100 million views and a growing fan base of more than 60,000 supporters and counting. She also co-stars in a popular web-series called Anarkali in which she wins the hearts of viewers with her character named Navi. Joty is known for her fearless and bold personality. She has decided to take her opinions and experiences to Joty Kay Uncut her appropriately named Talk Show.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory of how you came upon this career path and to where you are today?

I was born in Queens, New York, but was raised in a small town in Northern California. I was always really witty and outspoken, but the town I lived in wasn’t very fond of that. My town had a prominent Indian Community. Everyone followed a path that was ‘traditional’ If you didn’t follow that path, you were looked down upon. I was most definitely considered the “Black Sheep” of my community. While in college, I decided to take a break for one semester. The video app “Vine” was popular back then. I didn’t have many friends and a lot of free time so I gave the app a try. One video in particular went viral and helped me gain 100,000 followers. I didn’t even know that was possible! I kept making more videos and gained more confidence. It was my vice I would want to say. From then on I was offered to host gigs, brand deals, and some other cool opportunities. I featured in a popular Indo Canadian web series Anarkali, which did well. It even got picked up by on a tv station in England. During those happy times, I was also dealing with at-home family issues. That led me to move to Los Angeles to start a new beginning in 2017. Podcasting was just becoming a trend back then, so I start looking up ways to start a podcast. The first show I recorded hit 10,000 listens. That encouraged me to keep going and six months later, I got picked up by Rukus Avenue Radio, Dash Radio’s first South Asian Station. Now I am among one of the most popular shows on that station.

None of us can achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful to who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

It is hard to make friends in Los Angeles, but I was lucky enough to encounter a great one along the way. Her name is Lucy. She was always there for me through my ups and downs. Whenever I would lose hope, she would tell me how much she believed in me and wouldn’t let me give up. When I first moved to LA, my family issues would make me want to rage and party. It is easy to get caught up in that lifestyle here, I remember one night I drank way too much, I lost my passport, keys to my car, and my purse. I remember Lucy giving me a reality check. She lectured me and gave me a speech about how I am heading to a path of destruction. I didn’t listen. Then another night, I hit rock bottom. I called her and she came and picked me up. She about had it with me then and asked me what was going on. I told her I was lost and felt lonely. She offered to help me with anything I needed and get me through those dark times. Money, support, encouragement, she offered all of that to me. I even forced her to be on my podcast episodes with me so I would feel more confident. She would do it just to make sure it kept me motivated. That’s an example of a good friend. I wouldn’t be here without her.

Can you share a story with us about the most humorous mistake you made when you were first starting? What lesson or takeaway did you learn from that?

Humorous Mistake, geez so many. One, in particular, was when I was in the studio recording the podcast episode I forgot to hit the save button. It was such a great show, we had a great speaker, we talked about amazing topics too. The next day, I get a call from my producer asking me where the episode was, I then realized I got too excited and left without saving the episode. I was heartbroken and pissed. I felt like I wasted my time and the guest’s time.

As an influencer, you have been blessed with great success in a career path that many have attempted, but eventually gave up on. In fact, perhaps most people who tried to follow a career path like yours did not succeed. Do you have any words of advice for others who may want to embark on this career path but know that their dreams might be dashed?

Do not give up. I know it sounds easier said than done, but I am serious. I know at times it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, but keep working hard. There is a light. It may not be the full-blown dream you imagined, but those small victories along the way feel just as good. They give you that feeling of satisfaction and encouragement. Keep a side job, don’t give that up, but keep working towards your goal. Do not get comfortable either. While you are sleeping not putting in those extra hours, somebody else is. We have only ONE life to live, why not give something we our all? You don’t want to question yourself and say what if one day. You want to be able to say, I did and I did my best.

Can you share with our readers some of the strategies you’ve used to build an engaged, loyal, and large online community?

Have thick skin, everyone has a keyboard now. Don’t let those keyboard warriors get to you. Stay true to yourself and your vision. Your audience will sense that and be loyal to you. Authenticity and real is what people love, give that to them. Let them feel like they are part of your journey and life because they are. Be active, there are so many people on the web trying to do the same thing. You gotta keep it pushing. Don’t get lazy.

Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of our interview. In my work, I focus on how one can thrive and care for oneself in three areas: body, mind, and heart. You are a busy person with a demanding schedule, can you share with our readers two self care routines, practices or treatments that help your body thrive? (Kindly share a story or an example for each.)

Cooking myself a nice meal. I am always on the go so I eat quick bites that I don’t really enjoy. They are just energy. I am also signed up for a meal plan delivery service that helps me keep the pounds off. But I need that one night every couple of weeks, where I buy a good bottle of wine and look up a recipe I’ve been wanting to try. Shoot, I’ll even have dessert, I deserve it. Sometimes, I’ll follow with a nice bath with Epsom salt and a face mask if I am feeling frisky.

Usually getting my nails done and getting a massage is another one. But with all that is going on in the world, it’s a little tough to do that. So I bought a massage chair online and it is heaven. I use that a few times a week. I am a sucker for massages. I play some stand-up comedy on Netflix and give myself a nice break. Getting 8 hours of sleep is also essential when I can sneak it in.

Can you share with us two routines that you use to help your mind or heart to thrive? (Kindly share a story or example for each.)

I am still working on the art of meditation, but boy does it do wonders. I always catch myself getting overwhelmed and overthinking. I have a friend Jaymee, who is a life coach. I would always message her with long messages of conflicts I would create within myself. She then started sending me videos on meditation. At first, I thought it was a joke, but that one hour of meditation would do my body and mind wonders. Letting go of all the stress and thoughts in my brain would put me at such ease. I have vowed to do meditate at least 3 times a week. We overwork our brains and body so much. We need to reset.

Another routine I like to do is hiking. Something about outdoors keeping the brain creative and healthy. Being cooped up in the house on the computer can leave you feeling dull and unmotivated. Stepping outside keeps the mind right and sane. With the gyms being closed, hiking keeps me in shape and I enjoy it so much. I come up with the best ideas while walking in the hills of Hollywood.

Can you share 3 ideas that anyone can use “to feel beautiful”? (Please share a story or example for each.)

To feel beautiful you have to love yourself, plain and simple. I like to wake up in the morning and tell my self 3 affirmations. I look in the mirror and tell myself “you are beautiful, you are strong, you are a badass muthaf*** and don’t let anyone tell you any different.” It’s easy to compare ourselves to others in today’s social media inflicted world. You just have to remind yourself you are one of a kind and that’s beautiful. That’s what makes me feel beautiful.

Is there a particular resource, a practitioner, expert, book, or podcast that made a significant impact on you and helped you to thrive? Can you share a story about that with us?

I like to play motivational videos on youtube. I type in motivational speeches or motivational stories. I play it throughout my home on the speaker as I am getting ready for the day. It just helps lift my spirits. None, in particular, I just like to play positive messages. I also love listening to relaxing music when I am working. “Alexa play soothing music”

Do you have a story about the strangest, most bizarre or funniest wellness treatment that you’ve ever experienced?

OMG So I love massages as I mentioned earlier, but I like my massages to be a little rough. Well, one time I decided to get a “Thai Massage” and wow was that an experience. I legit started laughing mid massage. There were these bars on the ceiling and this person held on to the bars and literally was WALKING on my back. It felt good and hilarious at the same time. They walked on my legs and my arms. I remember doing that to my Dad as a kid, but I didn’t think it was a real practice. The masseuse started twisting me in the funniest positions, my boyfriend at the time opted for a normal massage and he was next to me. He was calmly passed out as I was an acrobat basically. It was so funny and bizarre. I would not do it again haha.

As an influencer, you are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.

I have a famous podcast called “Addiction is Real” where I talk about my Dad’s addiction and how it affected my life growing up. The number of people that reached out to me and told me their stories were insane. I thought growing up that I was the only ethnic person going through these issues, but it turns out I was not. I want to start a movement called “Living My Truth” where people share their toughest stories and are a support group for others going through similar situations. I have felt lonely before, to the point where I did not want to live anymore. I don’t want anyone to feel what I did. I want the movement to come together and find resources or people who need help

We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world with whom you’d like to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this. 🙂

Rihanna. That woman’s confidence, drive, presence, and work ethic drive me to want to be the best. She is a leader, but she has her own way of leading. She isn’t trying to please anyone. She survived dark times in her life and is helping others do the same. She is livingher truth. She does what she wants, lives how she wants. She is the BOSS. I love everything that she does.

What is the best way our readers can follow you on social media?

All my socials are on my website but My @ for all socials is easy, search Joty Kay.

Thank you for these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!

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