Give without expectation of return — I have found that giving without any expectation of return is one of the most satisfying activities. The least you expect back, the better you usually end up feeling. One way to do this is by volunteering your time to those who need it.
Do you ever wake up in the morning feeling unhappy, unfulfilled, unchallenged, and have nothing to look forward to? It doesn’t have to be that way. One idea that I always advise my clients is the concept of “Finding and Living Life Purpose”
The idea here is that often we pursue in life what the society (or our parents tell us to do). We push hard, get degrees and great jobs… and even if we accomplish all of that we still fill hollow inside.
Instead we need to find and tune it to our soul’s purpose.
Because no matter how many outward achievements we will have if we are not aligned internally we will not be fulfilled.
And when we don’t live our purpose, the universe gets involved. It starts creating circumstances that demand our shrewd actions and a sensible approach. It involves us in relationships, events, and situations that are at times painful, tragic and difficult. It molds our character to be responsive to perilous situations. It is like a wake-up call because we are pushed and made to persevere to conquer our demons. As only when we are in distress, do we learn to grow and become strong and resolute.
When you connect with your life purpose, you get on the right track, the track to self-discovery and self-worth. Your sense of self expands, all of your doubts and criticisms of others do not matter because you are connected to something bigger than you and become larger than life. You have a message to share with the world and that is precisely why your self-esteem grows.
As a part of our series interviewing experts on how to live a “ravenous life” — a life filled with the passion, pleasure, playfulness and abundance that come naturally to those who dare to be authentic, I had the pleasure of interviewing Stacy Caprio. Stacy is the founder of her.ceo, a website and resource for women who want to leave their 9–5 but are not sure where to start. Her.ceo offers the experiences of real women, a community of like-minded thinkers, as well as in-depth case studies to help women get from where they are today to where they want to be tomorrow.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
Yes, I still remember what it felt like to be at my old 9–5 jobs, where I felt as though I needed to ask for permission even to walk outside or go to the bathroom. Where even with a generous amount of sick and vacation days, using them was still a process of begging my boss and making sure it was ok and worked with everyone else’s schedules. Where productivity was not measured by the results I achieved for the company, but instead by how many hours I sat at my desk for. It was not a healthy place for me mentally or physically, and I remember when the highlight of each day was walking outside during my coveted hour lunch break where I finally felt free and happy. I still remember the feeling of dread I felt when I walked to work each morning, and back inside after my lunch breaks, knowing I was selling my time and my life for basically nothing. I researched and read as many case studies as I could of successful entrepreneurs and those making money online, and that is where I got my ideas and place to start. That is what inspired me to create the her.ceo community, where I can provide women with similar resources.
What does it mean for you to live “on purpose”? Can you explain? How can one achieve that?
To live “on-purpose”, you should wake up each day looking forward to what you have to do. You should get excited thinking about your future and vision each day. You should also feel that you have the resources internally, or that you have the ability to get the resources you need to accomplish your vision.
If you are dreading waking up or going to work each day, that is a clear sign you are not living “on purpose”.
Do you have an example or story in your own life of how your pain helped to guide you to finding your life’s purpose?
Yes, if I had never felt what it was like to work a 9–5 where your success was measured by the time you spent at your desk, and not by the results you produced, then I never would have learned the skills I know today and use to make my living. I would also never have felt called to help other women learn how to uplevel their lives and build their own dreams.
The United States is currently rated at #18 in the World Happiness Report. Can you share a few reasons why you think the ranking is so low?
People’s lives in the US tend not to be their own. Many are owned by social media, what others think of them, and their companies. They are constantly on their phones and email, replying to every beck and call of those around them. They no longer own their time or have any autonomy, so it is hard to ever relax and feel happy.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
I’m hoping my own and other female entrepreneurs success can inspire other women, and men, to take control of their own lives and build something they can use to also add value to the world and to bring freedom to their own life.
What are your 6 strategies to help you face your day with exuberance, “Joie De Vivre” and a “ravenous thirst for life”? Can you please give a story or example for each?
1. Live in each current moment only. I have found that when I am thinking about my past or worrying about my future or even how I will be able to handle the next moment, it makes me anxious and unable to even handle the present moment. When I focus on only handling each present moment and knowing I will always be able to do so, a certain kind of peace takes over and makes each moment much easier to handle, without any anxiety of thinking about the past or worrying about the future.
2. Meditate and prayer every morning and night. When I spend 10 or 20 minutes each morning and night in meditation and prayer, I find that I am much more grounded throughout the day, and it is easier to be peaceful and joyful, even when stressful events come up. When I skip my morning meditation I find it hard to focus or stay grounded throughout the day. When I skip my night meditation I find it hard to fall asleep.
3. Connect with every person you meet — Sometimes the day is busy and you rush around without taking the time to say hi or acknowledge the people you encounter each day, especially those in service positions. When you take the time to connect and have a conversation, you will be surprised at what you learn, and at the positive feeling you get from having a new human connection.
4. Try to make every person you see each day smile — When you make those around you smile or laugh it brings your mood up, and it is often my goal to help those around me smile, since it lifts the mood of everyone in the room.
5. Give without expectation of return — I have found that giving without any expectation of return is one of the most satisfying activities. The least you expect back, the better you usually end up feeling. One way to do this is by volunteering your time to those who need it.
6. Do one thing each day to bring yourself closer to your own goals — When you take time to work toward your own goals each day, you are affirming to yourself that you and your own goals are worth working toward. It gives you a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment, as well as gets you closer to where you want to be in life, letting you live life with a feeling of Joie De Vivre knowing that you are working toward your goals.
Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources that most inspired you to live with a thirst for life?
The Marie Forleo YouTube channel is one of my favorites, since it focuses on how you can build an ethical business that benefits others while at the same time adds financial prosperity to your own life.
One of my favorite lessons from Marie is that you are failing the world if you are not putting your product or service out there and selling it because you are failing to offer the massive value that you can provide to help change others’ lives. This advice turns the concept of selling on its head and shows that you can provide massive value to others and be compensated for it at the same time.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote” that relates to having a Joie De Vivre? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
Did you know, Stacy, that it’s perfectly OK, even highly ideal, to claim all is well amid doubt and confusion? To be happy in spite of challenges? To laugh at problems? Dance without a partner? Sing without a rhyme? Talk to inanimate objects?
I love this quote from my daily TUT Universe emails. It reminds me that even though nothing is perfect, and that nothing will ever be perfect, you can still be wildly happy in the imperfection. This is a good reminder because I think most people wait to be happy, and that waiting can take their whole life since they will never reach perfection in their own mind.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
Yes, I am working on putting together a list of interviews and case studies for the her.ceo site that will inspire other women and show them how they too can achieve their own highly profitable online businesses.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
The movement would be to measure work performance based on results, not by time spent in a cubicle.
This would help companies become insanely productive, and help workers be much happier and healthier.
About The Author:
Dr. Marina Kostina is a life and business fulfillment coach. She uses research and energy work to help professional women find their purpose and turn it into a profitable business. Dr. Kostina incorporates innovative marketing strategies and the creation of engaging, lucrative online courses to scale their businesses. As a result they enjoy what she describes as a “ravenous life” — a life filled with the passion, pleasure, playfulness and abundance that come naturally to those who dare to be authentic. Her book “Find the G-Spot of Your Soul” is available January 2018. Download a free gift from Dr. Kostina- an MP3 Meditation Album “Find The G –Spot Of Your Soul” and get unstuck.