Yesterday, I witnessed over 10,000 people from all across the world tuning in live to watch and learn, the first of Jay Shetty’s “5 Rules to Create a Life You Want” Coaching Series in the Facebook Group which boasts over 100,000 members.
His First Rule: Make Peace with Your Past because You DON’T Live there Anymore
Make Peace with your past because you don’t live there anymore. If you don’t, it’ll continue to find a way back and stop you from moving forward.
He reminded us that we might think that our past doesn’t bother us anymore because we found ways to avoid it, we think we’ve broken through it, and we’ve tolerated it. However, if we’ve never taken the time to feel the pain of our past, we cannot deal with it and therefore, we cannot heal it.
Our painful past could be many things:
- Death of a loved one
- Past relationships
- Something someone said to us
- Expectations of our parents
- Obligations of our parents
- Friends we’ve had
- Failing an exam
Your past may be holding you back
Jay said that our past can be the anchors holding us back if:
- You feel guilty about something you did in your past
- You feel ashamed by your past
- You regret something in your past
The first step in making a change and learning how to do so, is to be aware. Most of us do not even realize that it is our past that keeps dragging us back because whenever we try to move forward, we let the mistakes, missteps, or the experiences we’ve had define us and our potential. This holds us back. This is such an important realization for us to have because we’ve never been taught how to think just. We’ve been taught what to think but not how to think. This awareness in itself allows us to start healing.
If your past is holding you back because you feel guilty: Make a change now and start acting the way you’d have liked to act in the past.
If your past is holding you back because you feel ashamed: Bring in to the light of truth. Jay says shame can only hide and thrive in the dark places and when you bring light to it, it won’t have the same kind of hold on you. Tell your truth to someone close to you and one who is reasonable and won’t judge you for it, rather someone who will listen to you. All this person needs to do is listen to your truth. There is no resolve needed from the other person. When you reveal it, you relieve yourself.
If your past is holding you back because you regret something: Learn from it and then grow from it. Don’t judge yourself that event. Remember, children are always failing and falling but we give them permission to fail and fall without judging them. You may look adult like but if you’ve never learned from your past, you are still emotionally child like. Allow yourself to learn from it and then grow.
Finally, Jay asked us to do two exercises to move from the past into the present.
- Write down three positive reasons you must make peace with your past. These three statements of significance allow ourselves to focus on why being in the present and moving forward is important to us.
- Make a list of all the possibilities that you are currently excited about and are grateful for. These are the things that are happening right now. This list is a reminder for you to be fascinated by your present. This list will provide you the motivation to invest in your present. When you are excited about your present, you will no longer be fixated in your past.
This Live was so powerful that Jay reminded the 10,000+ people that were live to realize and recognize that it was 10,000 people healing together.
Are you held back by your past? I hope this post will help you to feel it and heal it too.