I’ve always enjoyed reading and writing. It was my escape. I felt safer to convey my thoughts and feelings through writing. But starting in junior high school, the nagging voices of insecurities kept getting louder. So I gave up on my dreams. But I never stopped writing. I just didn’t pursue it professionally or show my work to anyone. But I’m no longer guided by those negative voices. I can still hear them sometimes but it’s not as loud as it use to be. And I am much more confident with who I am and I’ve embraced my unique voice. I am much more confident with who I am and I’ve embraced my unique voice.
“I am much more confident with who I am and I’ve embraced my unique voice”.
I write about topics ranging from love, friendship, career and growing older. I basically write about life and all the fears, happiness, sadness, the magnificent and stupidity of what we call life. In my spare time, I love to ride horses (I don’t get to do much in Miami Beach, Florida.) I love to watch movies, go to the beach, laugh with my girlfriends and enjoy a good meal with nice wine.
When I was in Korea, around 5 years old, I was living in a orphanage house for a short period. I hated it. I had pretty much given up. I thought this would be my life and nothing else existed except for the ugly walls of the orphanage. Then one day, I was running through the field and got lost. I came upon these very tall stalks of sunflowers. It was one of the most beautiful thing I’ve ever witnessed. The sun was shining brightly that day. The sun reflecting off the bright yellow sunflowers made it even more majestic. At that moment, I thought “ if something so beautiful could exist in such an ugly place as this, then there must be much more amazing things out in the world.” And I promised to myself that I’ll leave the orphanage and find a better life. I didn’t stay long in the orphanage. It wasn’t something courageous that I did. But the significance of the story is that, whenever I feel really low and can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, I remind myself that everything is okay because how can’t it not be when something so beautiful like sunflowers exist in this world.
My most favorite books are Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand and Kabuki by
David W. Mack. With Atlas Shrugged, it’s about being responsible for
your actions and about striving and reaching to your fullest potential.
It’s about what is good and evil. I don’t necessarily agree with all
her philosophy but most of them. The first time I read it, I was at a
very low point in my life and lacked any self-confidence. The book
helped me to kick my behind and rise up and stop pitying myself. The
book empowers you and is better than some self-help books.
Kabuki is a graphic novel unlike any graphic novel. The way David W. Mack writes and draws, you can actually hear soundtracks. He’s able to make it alive for all your senses. It’s not 3-dimensional but it feels like it. But that’s not the reason why Kabuki has a special place in my heart. What spoke to me are: the story of the heroine Kabuki and her confusion about who she is and getting in touch with her identity, the question of identity and what it means for each individual, Kabuki’s culture and people and embracing it. Growing up, I was ashamed of being Korean. I wanted to be white, blonde and blue-eyed. Growing up, there wasn’t much Asians in mainstream media and it seemed like the white, blonde and blue-eyed females were the most coveted. And it may still be so but at least it’s not the only type of people you see these days. As a kid, I just wanted to fit in but with a face vastly different from everyone around me, I stuck out like a sore thumb. And I didn’t fit in even with other Koreans, which made me feel even more displaced. Kabuki helped me embrace my culture and love my culture because that is a part of who I am.
The one thing I would like to change is for everyone to be more understanding and forgiving. These days people get so heated over everything and it’s like you’re not allowed to make mistakes. We should have a dialogue with each other and not try to destroy each other because we don’t agree with each other. Instead of vilifying the person, maybe we keep the dialogue going and try to find out why that person thinks and behaves the way they do. And if people made mistakes a long time ago and has made real changes, we should forgive and move on instead of trying to humiliate and punish them for it. None of us are perfect and I think people need to remember that.
My super powers I would say are adaptability and my ability to see many different perspectives. I moved a lot when I was growing up and it taught me to adapt to any place and situations. I have the ability to see many different perspectives which helps me make rational decisions. That’s probably why my friends seek me for advice. I don’t just tell you something to make you feel better. I listen to both sides of the story and can see why both parties feel the way they do and I am able to convey that to both sides.
Jane Choi Blog http://www.canitaleyousomething.com YouTube Channel JaneChoi3