When I was young, I would get my hair pulled and brushed so hard that I cried. ‘You have to suffer to be beautiful,’ was the explanation. Really? To look presentable to others, the belief ingrained into my head as a girl was that I had to suffer.
And suffer I did.
I suffered with insecurity and self-loathing. I suffered through calorie-counting and bulimia. I suffered from anxiety and depression. Ever the perfectionist, I was my own worst enemy. Almost every day, as if it was important, I’d pray to God to make me beautiful. Ah, maybe then people would like me.
After college, I thought I found it – the start of what would be a decades-long career in the Beauty Industry. Give me knowledge of all the hair and makeup tricks and photo manipulation mastery! Give me benders on clothes and shoes and handbags and jewelry and medspa appointments for laser treatments, endermologie, liposuctions, breast augmentation, fat freezing, wrinkle injections, microblading, lash extensions…the list goes on.
Likely no surprise that nothing I did in pursuit of physical perfection could make me feel any better about myself, because inside I was unwell. What was the lesson learned? Glorifying accomplishments, accumulations and attractiveness is a recipe for unhappiness, because the ego will never be satisfied. Linking self-worth to ego is a human trait that is really difficult to break, but it can be done.
Through the realization that we are not our bodies, nor our thoughts, nor our identities. Through the realization that we are light-filled souls masquerading as people for a short while on earth. Through the realization that life as a human being is intended to be full of kick-ass lessons to ultimately remind us of our universal purpose, which is to shine light and spread love.
So go for it. Shed your skin and get into that chrysalis. Go through that mind-blowing change. Find your wellspring of beauty on the inside, and emerge the beautiful soul that you are and always have been.