Are you wondering if forgiveness heals marriages? ‘Some mistakes are too big to forgive’ you may think. But, if love fuels your fire, impossibility is but a phrase.
I have gone to several weddings. When I was young, the Wedding Show was one of my favorite programs. Despite the riches on display, my eyes were always set on the cake and vows. I fail to remember, however, how the sequence goes. All I know is that there is a ’till death do us apart’ in there. Not to mention, ‘For better or for worse, in sickness and health…’
Those vows emphasize on forgiveness virtues. They prepare spouses for the journey ahead. And, they indicate that matrimony too has its days and nights.
Discord in marriage leads to distance yourselves. In extreme cases even, you may end up divorcing. Besides, some are so severe to the point of murder and suicide! The leading causes of such events are non-admittance of mistakes and failing to forgive.
Admitting Your Shortcomings
Secrets and wrongs done to others are like a chamber of magma. If you hold them back pretending to be okay, the pressure becomes too much to control. Eventually, everything erupts, leading to unimaginable grief and depression. The result becomes way more than you thought.
To avoid such consequences, we must willfully admit our mistakes to our partners. You may not entirely be the one to blame for the situation. However, being quick to say sorry will save you so much time and resentment. Repentance is, therefore, a vital step in understanding that forgiveness heals marriages.
Something some spouses fail to understand is that the weight of an apology matters. We have a sincere request for forgiveness and a mere way to avoid a tantrum.
a) Insincere Apology
What is the body language of your partner as they beg for forgiveness? Is she or he on the phone? Are they busy typing work on the laptop? Maybe, they are laughing immediately they finish apologizing.
For instance, somebody says sorry, and the very next second they are laughing at a WhatsApp video! If this is the trend in your relationship, then you never know the importance of repentance. And, you’ll not be aware of how forgiveness heals marriages.
b) True Apology
For your partner to honestly believe you are sorry, you have to go an extra mile. Seat down with your partner. Ensure, the atmosphere is right. Plus, ensure there are no distractions like the use of electronic gadgets.
Secondly, outlay what wrong you committed. What were the circumstances? A simple sorry just won’t cut it. If that is all you say, your partner will still feel the hurt of your actions even months later.
In light of the above, your spouse will not spend time with you as they used to. Your marriage will not be as blissful as you wished it to be. So, you won’t believe that forgivenessheals marriages.
True remorse comes from deep within. If the wrong were massive, you would not feel okay right after asking for forgiveness. You will find yourself wanting to repent over and over again. The feeling is so bad that it chastises you whenever you want to hurt your partner again.
For you to have the capability to render a genuine apology, you must get rid of your pride. Be ready to listen to what your partner says. Also, you need to understand that your opinion is not always right. Remember, ‘man is to error.’
Once your spouse indicates they are genuinely remorseful, you must have the will to forgive. Otherwise, your marriage will fall to ruin. Ensure that your ‘yes’ is meaningful and not just a means to end the discussion.
The magnitude of the mistake does not matter if one sincerely presents an apology. If your spouse promises not to repeat the error, it’s only fair to forgive them. Genuine remorse and forgiveness are crucial if you want to know how forgiveness heals marriages.
What Next After Repenting and Forgiving?
Upon forgiving your spouse, you must let go of the hurt. How do you do so? Spend more time with your spouse. Additionally, show an interest in what they love.
On the other hand, if you were the one responsible, you must try to act better. Refrain from things that may tempt you to repeat the mistake. You can also engage in makeup activities. For instance, you could take your spouse out on a date.
Forgiveness is a trait that is ageless. Just as it was significant centuries ago, it is still useful today. Besides, if you are open in your relationship about mistakes, life is so easy. Undoubtedly, couples in such relationships know that forgiveness heals marriages.
If you are finding difficulties forgiving, getting a therapist can prove resourceful. Still, you could involve yourself in couples’ groups and try to solve issues together. People make mistakes. What matters is forgiving and moving on.