Community//

Is it ok not to feel okay?

Yes, yes, always YES!!!

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My little girl came to me this morning in a strange mood, she seemed a little grumpy but as that’s not her usual nature I think she felt a bit disorientated. She didn’t really know why she was feeling the way as there was no obvious reason. She had had a few nightmares, which disrupted her sleep and had woken up a little irritated and couldn’t snap out of it.

Now I very much promote ‘positive vibes’ and doing everything possible to maintain a healthy and happy mind-set, however sometimes, it really is ok to just feel not okay. I explained to my little girl that sometimes you can get days like that, that I get days like that, it can sometimes take time to feel in alignment, to feel the smile spread across your face, to feel okay.

As she processed what I had said and she stopped trying to feel a certain way and to feel ‘normal’, she relaxed. I didn’t say the typical ‘come on put a smile on your face’, ‘be positive’ ‘what’s wrong’ over and over again. For that time, that moment, there was no pressure to feel anything other than exactly how she was feeling. There was no judgement, or quick fix needed, having the space and time to feel was all that was needed to gently soften before she was ready to open up further and then look at what we could do to improve her mood.

Sometimes we don’t need to wake up and jump out of the bed, a smile on our face, a spring in our step, frothy coffee at the ready with unicorns flying around us. We also don’t need to wake up, look at our media feed and almost instantaneously want to dive deeper into the duvet, because the holidays snaps, positive quotes, success stories just aren’t doing it for us today.

Its ok to take time to reset, have a moment, figure things out, or simply just be. You don’t need to fit in a certain box, conform to a certain image or keep up with the rest of the world. Take time to have a movie day, read a book in bed, have an extra lie in, leave the laundry for one more day, do whatever it is that you feel like doing, rather than what you think you should be doing.

Just know that every single person out there will have a day or week or month like this. As much as it feels like you may be the only one, you most certainly are not. Often guilt prevents us from having an ‘off-day’, the fear of missing out on opportunities, and getting ahead in the game whether that’s personal or work. However how productive are you when you aren’t feeling in alignment with yourself, are you really giving it 100%?  Whether it’s one or two hours that you need or one or two days, in the grand scheme is it really much?

Take time to be kind to yourself, if you aren’t feeling ‘okay’, it doesn’t mean you are incapable, or incompetent, or inferior, and nor does it mean you don’t have a handle on life. It’s simply means that you are having an off day, that you are human, and experiencing human like traits, which are more than NORMAL.

The feeling will pass. The day will go on and you will be okay. Once you have acknowledged that, have a go to list that you know will begin to lift your mood. For me, I meditate, listen to music, watch some reality TV or do some cooking. It could be arranging a night out, scheduling an early night, making time to read a book, having a declutter or going for a coffee.

And remember, above all else, It really is okay not to be okay.

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