You’ve heard of the term “friends with benefits,” right? You know exactly what it means and now you want to consider getting involved with this type of casual relationship. There may even be a friend proposing this type of relationship.
Of course, you naturally want to consider the pros and cons. You want to know if this is going to be a good thing for both of you. Even with the rule you have set out, is it possible for people to get hurt and the friendship to be completely destroyed? Can friends with benefits be a good idea?
One of the main reasons to consider friends with benefits is because the trust is already there. You already have some sort of relationship and you’re taking it to a more intimate level. This should be a good thing, right?
For many cases, it can be. Having the trust there before you enter a physical relationship is important. You can be honest about STDs or past relationships – you may even know about each other’s dirty secrets! There’s little judgment with the person you’re already friends with and you can just straight into having fun.
Of course, you need rules. When you enter a relationship with someone you already trust, you know that the rules are more likely going to be followed.
When you start a new relationship, you’re finding yourself with them. If you have a one-night stand, you don’t have time to gain a comfort level. You’re just all in. With a friend, you already have that comfort level and you can build up from that.
Building up tends to add another layer of excitement. You’re adding a new dynamic to a friendship that you already have. It’s possible to start slow and build up.
This also offers you the chance to explore more. Both of you can share fantasies and wishes. Start with some of the things you definitely don’t want to do and enjoy the experience up to those points.
Friends with benefits means that you have a relationship with a friend. There’s usually nothing about being exclusively committed to each other. After all, that would mean you’re in a relationship together!
With a friends with benefits relationship, you’re still free to have the odd one-night stand. You can find another FWB online and you can be as free as you want. You’re not tied down, and your friend gets the exact same benefits. However, if you’re both lonely, you can call on each other and hook up.
Friends with benefits doesn’t mean you have to stop seeing people. You don’t need to stop dating. However, you will need the rules in place for when either one of you finds someone you want to date exclusively.
Starting a physical relationship with someone is relatively easy. What about when it comes to stopping it? Eventually, one or both of you will likely find someone you want to be committed to. Then you need to turn your friends with benefits relationship back into just a friendship.
Whether your partner knows the full truth or not, there’s still going to be something between you and your friend. It’s hard to get rid of that intimacy between two people – it’s often why two exes who still get along can’t actually just be friends. There’s always the threat of that friend, and you run the risk of losing the friendship when you do move on.
Plus, there’s always the chance that one of you will grow intimate feelings for the other. Yes, you can have the rule in place about being honest and stepping away when someone does, but it’s not easy to just turn those feelings off. That’s not how real life works.
Adding the physical connection to the relationship will add in an emotional aspect. You can make decisions that have the other person in mind, even if you don’t necessarily want to do that. It leads to confusion for you and between you.
It can be a problem if you set up a friends with benefits relationship at work. You start to wonder whether the decision your “friend” makes is against or for you. It’s possible to see things that aren’t really there due to your physical connection. And that happens the other way around.
Friends with benefits relationships can be excellent for exploring and finding someone you trust to be intimate with. However, be prepared for the aftermath.