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Interchangeable Sidekicks

What if the couple-pareja love we are all striving for was an interchangeable sidekick life experience? New ways of socializing, of supporting, of being together. Why not, for an entire lifetime

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In French, the expression “Prendre le relais de….” means “to take over a task, a responsibility, by lifting the other from the burden of it.

I particularly fancy it, and I am starting to use it more and more, because it really gives the sense of helping out a friend in need, humming “You’ve got a friend in me”.

With age and with humble experiences, I am also starting to become more and more an Observer of personal and social situations, instead of a “Action-oriented DO-IT-NOW or you will die approach – humming “4 Seconds (to save the world)”. I prefer to sit back and listen, ask “thought-through” questions and understand the needs, the emotions and see how (and if) I need to be in the picture, or not.

Shifting my songs-approach to life to explain universal existentialist questions, I am going back to my roots, where my mother used to tell me that I was a very peaceful child – eating and sleeping basically, never crying, just in my own lovely bubbly world- (becoming a relatively good rebel in my teenage years, always studying and dreaming of the Love of my life – coming on a white horse to knock at my door – still remember i used to look out from time to time from my room’s window, waiting for him to appear...Love Story….).

In terms of Love (and the infinite research around it) it is a feeling that manifests itself in different shapes and forms, from volunteering in a charity, cooking for others, spending a musical jazz concert time with a friend, working on a project, playing football in a team…

Bringing to the table a socio-anthropological example of my life experience, I learned that a dîner dansant is, in Madagascar, a time that people take to eat together and- in between dishes- there is a DJ- singer-Master of ceremony- Karaoke animator (all in one) who brings in enthusiasm among the crowd and invites all on the dancefloor, for group dances or pareja dancing – couple dances. It is a very fun atmosphere and, as Italian, habituée to stay sit on the table and improvise small talks, I must say I enjoyed the new eating-dancing formula (and it allows people to practice their dance moves as well!). New ways of socializing, new ways of interacting, new ways of being together.

Funneling down to couples-pareja love, I see it more and more as an interchangeable sidekick life experience. I take charge sometime, you take charge sometime, en prenant le relais – lightening my day with a smile, a hug or a kiss, and my whole world approach changes. Like the sun, the interchangeable sidekick approach (Gaia’s neologism) implies the active engagement and passion – different levels depending on circumstances- but the presence- online or offline- and the willingness to support and be there for the other.

Interchangeable because- as movies and books inculcated in us (wrongly – to my reasoning) that Robin was always subordinate to Batman, and Sancho Panza to el Don Quijote. In this new light, Robin can be guiding Batman – in the times of need- and Batman can take turns when Robin is tired. Let’s face it: from personality types and psychological approaches & studies (i warmly invite you to explore the department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences of Stanford University to learn more about mental health, behaviors, stress and lifestyles, neuroscience) there is always a stronger type in a partnership. The Gender Equality discourse (especially these days) always applies, considering a relationship – a union between two human beings, based on respect and non-discrimination on gender. However, physical and biological components always play a role in the chemistry of a couple. Silly example: reaching a fruit salad mixer that you put up on the kitchen shelves and you need to use a chair to stand on to take it. Your partner can just be taller than you and can reach it without using the chair – this is called efficient use of time!

Would love to hear from you..#NewThoughtsonLove

@GaiaParadiso

Deep Thank you to Inspirational ladies

20 September 2019, Antananarivo – Madagascar

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