You know that thing you want? (It’s the one you keep fantasizing about and wishing for.) You can have it. You really can, and it will be just as fantastic as you keep imagining. There’s a catch. (Of course.) You can’t think your way into a fantasy-come-true life. You have to behave your way there. You have to live for the life you want. (I can show you how to do that. Keep reading.)
The unpleasant truth about lost dreams is that most people don’t have what they want because they aren’t willing to do what needs to be done to have it. (Ouch, right?) Big accomplishments ask for big behavior. They require your engagement, your effort, and your consistency.
To have what you want, you’re going to need to do some things you don’t want to do. (Probably a lot of them actually.) You’re also going to be uncomfortable more times than you can count. You’re going to have to stretch and grow. While that’s simple (if somewhat unpleasant) to understand, it’s not an easy thing to do. Motivation can help you do it.
Motivation is an energy that helps you buckle down and do what needs to be done (even when you REALLY don’t want to do it). Motivation is an internal fuel that pushes you through blocks, and pulls you into those fantasies-come-true I mentioned earlier. You CAN have your dream life. Motivation can help you claim it, and in our current episode of GrooveTV we’re gonna get you some. Press PLAY already. Your mojo is waiting. ☺
We’ll handle this in three simple steps. (Like always.) Here we go…
Step 1 – Be the girl who goes for it.
There comes a time in every woman’s life, where she needs to decide who she’s going to be, what she’s going to stand for, and what kind of life she’s going to build. Perhaps you’re reading this blog right now, because this is THAT time for you.
Will you tap into the courage and strength within you, and create a life you’re proud of? Will you let yourself be all that you’re capable of becoming? Will you set boundaries and use your voice? Will you risk, and be vulnerable? Will you let yourself be BIG, and use your life?
Please say yes.
I know it’s scary to look down a dark path of unknowns. Not knowing brings up all of your insecurities, doesn’t it? (Me too, but here I am.)
Your inner frenemy voice is on overdrive, isn’t she? What if you fail? (You’ll learn, and you’ll live. Promise.)
What if you make a fool of yourself? (The people who love you won’t care, and the ones who care don’t matter.)
What if you’re not good enough? (YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. You have always been good enough.)
Look. I know it’s easier to stay up in your head daydreaming than it is to roll your sleeves up and risk. I get it. Your fear is real. Risk anyway.
The girl who sits on the sidelines is safer, but she’s not all she could be. You are not that girl.
YOU ARE THE GIRL WHO GOES FOR IT.
BE HER.
Okay?
To reconnect you with her, we need to give you a big why. It’s time to set your fantasy-come-true goal. Maybe you want to start a business, write a book, or rekindle a romance. Perhaps you want to go for a promotion, get your financial house in order, or run for office. Whatever it is you’ve been thinking about or holding in your heart, you CAN do it.
What’s your fantasy-come-true goal?
Name it. Then share it. It’s time to go public, and start talking about your goal. It will feel clumsy at first, and that’s okay. Everything feels awkward when you’re a beginner. Allow yourself the awkward. Women tend to figure things out as we say them out loud, so the more you talk about your goal, the more clarity you’ll gain.
Congratulations. You know what you want, and you’ve decided to go for it. Fist bump, Girl.
Now let’s talk about getting you into action.
Step 2 – Behave for the outcome you’re seeking.
If you don’t have what you want yet, chances are pretty good you haven’t been doing what you need to be doing to have it. As it turns out, what you DO every day is actually what determines the quality of your life.
This is challenging to accept, because it asks you to take responsibility for whatever you’re doing (or not doing) that’s keeping you from what you want. On the bright side of things, once you take responsibility for yourself, you take your power back. If you’re in charge of you that means you can change anything you want, right?
There is a bridge between where you are now and where you want to be. That bridge is built with habits. A habit is just a routine way of doing things. What we want to do is set you up with habits that support the outcome you’re looking to create.
For example, fit people have fit habits. Financially abundant people have financially abundant habits. Happily married people have… you get the picture. Whatever it is you want, there are a pattern of habits that will help you create that reality. You just need to map your particular pattern. Happily, that’s a pretty straightforward thing to do.
Meet your friend Google. Literally enter “habits of people who have X” into the search box, and follow the links. What do people who have what you want do? Do those things. What would they never do? Don’t do those things.
It’s absurdly simple, yet difficult to do because you need to adjust your behavior. (There’s that catch again.) Still, once you have a target, you can start adjusting your habits one habit at a time. Will it be easy? No. Will it be worth it? Definitely. Can you really do it? YES! So start, okay?
When you align your habits with the outcome you’re seeking, the outcome will be yours. It can’t help but be.
Good work. That was the hardest step this week. Our final guy is a ton of fun.
Step 3 – Count your resources.
I know you’ve heard of counting your blessings. I want you to count your resources too. You do that just like you count your blessings.
Right now, in this moment, you are surrounded by support. It is literally hiding in plain sight. Once you start looking for resources, you’ll be surprised at how many are available to you.
A resource is something that can help you move closer to your goal. Most of the time, resources are presented through the people in our lives. (Even the ones who cross our paths casually.)
Maybe the grocery clerk mentions a book you should read. Or perhaps your cube mate knows someone you should know. When you start talking about your goals, the people you’re talking with are probably going to have resources for you. (Most people love helping when they can.)
I want you to get GREAT at recognizing your resources. Start by looking in five areas.
- YOU: You are your greatest resource. You have strengths, skills, and life experience under your belt. You have overcome so many things, haven’t you? You’re still here. Stronger for all of it. You are FIERCE, my sister. Remember that. Know that you can trust yourself. Whatever happens, you’re gonna figure it out, and you’re gonna be okay. Use your gifts.
- People: Who do you know who already has what you want? Reach out to them and learn. Who do you know, who knows someone you need to know? Ask for an introduction.
- Places: Think about the places you already belong to. Are there people you could talk with about your goal at your gym, in your building, or at an organization you already belong to?
- Things: Information is power. Look for books, articles, blogs, and how-to videos about what you’re going for. When someone mentions a book or blog to you, read it, watch it, and learn from it.
- Proximity: Where do people who have what you want hang out? Check out those places. Learn. Be open. Listen more than you talk.
As you gain strength in recognizing resources, practice being one too. The energy of giving is a powerful thing. When you focus on adding value wherever you go while simultaneously allowing yourself to receive, you’ll land smack dab in the middle of motivational flow. And it will feel GOOD.
Tell me what you’re going for in the comments below. I want to know you. Me? My mission is your empowerment. I have a big goal. I want to empower one million women. That’s why I offer my free coaching program.
Let’s do this together, okay? Do your work. Look at your life. Tell the truth. What’s working? What’s not? What do you want instead? You can change anything. You are mad strong. Once you remember that, those fantasies will be a real thing. I can’t wait. ☺
That’s it for the week. Remember that I never want you to blindly take my word for anything. Only you know what’s right for you. I just happen to have a few coaching tools that can help you get closer to that wisdom. Give this lesson’s advice a test drive in your life, and let me know how it goes. There are three ways for us to interact.
- Comment in the comments section below.
- Chat with me on on Instagram, Facebook or LinkedIn.
- Email me if you have something more private you’d like to ask. My personal email is [email protected]. I’m the only one reading your messages, and it’s always me answering them.
- Check out my new blog library for on demand empowerment coaching at your fingertips.
My mission is your empowerment. That’s why I’m here. If you haven’t already joined my community, please do it by entering your email (www.kimberlyfulcher.com). Until we meet again, know that life is happening for you.
And you got this!
XO
Kim
Originally published on KimberlyFulcher.com.