It’s sometimes so easy to see the greatness in other people, while at the same time struggling to see it in ourselves. It’s for this reason that it’s not uncommon for a person to have a perception of themselves, which completely differs from that of the people who love them. Where your friends see strength, you may see weakness. Moreover, where your family sees perseverance, you may see failure. If you’re constantly feeling as if you’re not quite measuring up to the goals you have for yourself; or as if your opinion, of who you are, is worse than how others see you; implementing these 8 tactics may help you on your journey to a better and more self confident you.
BE MINDFUL OF HOW YOU THINK AND TALK ABOUT YOURSELF.
When you speak or think of yourself negatively, those words and thoughts have the power to become self-fulfilling prophecies. If you’ve gotten into the habit of having these thoughts, stopping them will take a lot of awareness and work on your part. As soon as you notice that you’re being overly critical of yourself, try to make a conscious effort to stop and instead channel more positive thoughts.
CHANGE WHAT YOU DON’T LIKE
It’s quite possible that the things which you don’t like about yourself are true. If they are true, the good news is that you have the power and the ability to change the negative things about yourself which you don’t like. We are who we are for various reasons, individual personalities and upbringings all have their part in forming who we are. This doesn’t, however, mean that this is who we have to become.
It’s also possible that the things which you don’t like about yourself aren’t really that bad, you’ve just been programed to think that it’s negative. It’s important to first get an understanding of where that negative self-image came from, and why you came to internalize it as being true. Once this has been done, you can work on deprogramming these thoughts from your brain, and replacing them with more positive thoughts about yourself; or changing them, if you still think that it’s something which needs to be changed.
There will always be someone who you can find to compare yourself to, that you will consider better than you. Especially, if your sense of self-worth is low and you’re looking to confirm your low self-worthlessness. Comparison is also a bad idea, because you very rarely have a person’s full story to really be able to tell how happy they are. Many people tend to be more forthright with sharing the positive things in their lives than the negatives. This means that you may be comparing your behind-the-scenes life to someone’s highlight reel.
EMBRACE YOUR STRENGTHS
Everybody’s good at something. Discover what that something is, or what you’re passionate about. Then, devote your time and energy to it. Setting aside this time do things which you naturally excel at, can help to increase your self-esteem, which in turn, can help to improve your sense of self-worth. This doesn’t mean that you should completely abandon anything which you’re not good at, nor is it practical. Though, you may find that the things you “fail” at don’t bother you as much, when you have something that you’re good at for which to be grateful.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
Self-care is so easy to neglect, in favor of all of life’s other ambitions and pursuits. However, one of the keys to feeling better about yourself, may start with taking better care of yourself. Exercise is something that is hard to start and create a routine around, but once you do, exercise has a way of empowering you, and making you feel proud of what you physically accomplished. Even if there are no changes to your body, fueling your body with nutritious foods, instead of unhealthy ones, can help you feel more energetic and better about your overall health. Even if exercise isn’t your thing, even something else, like painting or any hobby you love (or were once good at, before becoming distracted with everyday life). Finally, sleep seems so elusive most days, but on the days which you get enough sleep, you feel ready to conquer the world, as opposed to those sleepless nights; where you wake up in a bad mood, and can only think about the next time you’ll be able to climb into bed.
Giving can help in more than one way. Giving either your time, or money to those in need, can help you to reset your opinion about your own personal circumstances. Whatever your problems are, there will always be someone that is in a worse situation. This isn’t to detract from your personal angst or say that it’s not important, but rather to give you a different perspective. Giving, can also just make you feel better. There are few feelings greater than seeing a significant impact in someone’s life, and knowing that you were responsible for it.
DON’T HOLD GRUDGES
We’ve all been wronged in one way or another. Forgiving those who have wronged us can be incredibly hard, especially if you don’t think they deserve it. Forgiveness isn’t for them however, but for you. By holding on to feelings of bitterness or resentment, you can keep yourself in a negative place. It also may be the case that you’re angry with yourself, over something which you’ve done. The shame that you’re feeling from your misdeeds, causes you to think badly of yourself. “Forgiving self and others, has been found to improve self-esteem,” says Schiraldi, author of The Self-Esteem Workbook. “Perhaps because it connects us with our innately loving nature and promotes an acceptance of people, despite our flaws.”
Originally published on Moms.
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