Body language is a huge and wide-spectred topic so we need to specify a little what we are talking about. Naturally, two parts of body language come out of this separation. First one is observing body language and the second one is performance. Sending a message and receiving a message. Both of these skills are vital for mastery.
Observing is very useful for finding out what is going on with the person you just talk to. Or when you are alone watching others and practising the art of observing. By observing you are becoming more skilful communicator because you know when the person is a bit upset, angry, happy or sad. And you can make a proper adjustment of yourself to make it most convenient for him or her.
On the other hand, there is performing. Observing and performing is nicely dancing around each other because first, you perform then you observe and perform again to make the outcome the best possible. Sometimes you have time to think of how you want to appear and you have time to prepare for it as a set date or a job interview. It is a bit easier and harder in one than a spontaneous meeting. But let me list a couple of tips on what to practise in order to be more impressive.
Easily said impressive person is the one who loves himself and who loves others.
When you want to be impressive you need to know who you are and how to treat others, so let’s focus on the first part how to love yourself or know who you are?
Confidence – This is a vital part and single most important trait you need to have because this confidence conveys a message, you know who you are and what you stand for. It makes you feel nice and makes others feel nice around you. It tells you are there to meet other people and you don’t intend to attack them. That you are nice and friendly.
Dominance is the first sub-point and it brings aggression and strength into confidence. If the dominance would be a majority in confidence you would be an intimidating person and that’s not a good start to being impressive. Shoulders are pushed back, chest exposed, head erect, fist clutched, angry face.
Smile – here we go again, hah. The second sub-point in this game. Smile is taking off the aggressive part of dominance which is mostly taking place in the facial area. In aggression, it is mostly anger/disgust expression and smiles totally takes it over. Now, you have strong body language but the face is telling that you are not about to attack but you’re friendly.
Openness, now we are finally getting to acknowledge there is someone standing in front of us and we mean to talk to the person. By opening yourself you are telling the other person, your attention is flowing towards him and you mean to listen and interact with him or her. We are opening when we are showing hands and more specifically palms to them. It sounds a bit awkward, I know. But our brain is hardwired to scan palms of other people for security purposes so by this movement we’re answering this brains unasked security question and by that we getting more of the person’s attention.
But how to train something like this?
I use a saying “Train it whenever it pops up in your mind.” And I think this is the key to how to master even this confidence thing. You live your day the same like every other but you pass a shop window and you find out that you are pushing shoulder way too much forward so you just push them back and think on it for a while and in the same way you will adjust yourself and by the time you will master a confidence and it will be your own repertoire of behaviour.