Impossible means I’m Possible!

How the hardest months become the biggest blessings in my life, guiding me towards my Divine Timing?

Impossible means I'm Possible
Impossible means I'm Possible

This is my baby’s story, but because he is too small to talk I have to write for him, for now .

So, I will start with 13th February 2018,which actually turn my life into a life based only on gratitude.
Maybe between you guys, who are reading this, are still some who believe in unlucky numbers like 13!
This is how 13th of February start for us. I was pregnant, 19weeks+2days, and we were waiting for the scan to reveal our baby’s gender. We were very excited to find out because we already have 2 beautiful boys.

Unfortunately for us,the baby didn’t have the right position to see his gender, but it did have good position to find out that something wasn’t normal with his right kidney. We were told maybe is a cyst and get a next day appointment with the consultant. I am a therapist since 2006 and I knew a cyst is not necessary something dangerous, but still as a mother I was worried.
So next day, after the scan was done, the consultant gave us even worse news. It wasn’t a cyst, it was much more…

The consultant was talking about some conditions which I never believed it is possible to happen to a baby in the womb and definitely not to my baby.

There is a large bladder which is in all probability as a result of a lower urinary tract obstruction. The amniotic fluid volume is normal. The whole of the fetal urethra was visualised as such I believe the obstruction is a result of an anterior syringocoele, which is causing intermittent obstruction. There is mild left sided hydronephrosis and a right sided perinephric urinoma…Rescan in 2 days.


The medical intervention what he explained to us was itself a risk for my baby and I didn’t accept it. I was very worried but I still tried telling him that anything can change until baby is born, but I get as a response a big IMPOSSIBLE. He told us that this condition is very rare and from when he practice medicine he never saw a recovery. He also explain that the next step of this will be less amniotic fluid which will cause suffocation to the baby, and if this doesn’t happen than at birth will have kidney failure.

So sad..he didn’t even allow him to be born and was already talking about him dying.
We go home, and my heart was broken. I felt his first kick at 12 weeks, he was so active, everyday…I couldn’t believe this is happening… I refused to believe it.
Because I work with supplements, straight away I start taking the ones which I knew will help with kidney conditions and I start praying and doing meditation hoping for a better result in 2 days.
On 16th of February we go to see the consultant again, and the news were even worse than before. Due to the obstruction, his bladder enlarged even more, and both kidneys had urinomas. He told us even if we choose the medical intervention, he can’t do it anymore because is very difficult; at this point I ask to be referred to someone more specialised in this matter.

It happened on Friday,..I remember like it was yesterday…I was left with 0% chances for my baby and I refused to believe what the doctor said, but he even draw for me on a paper to make me understand there is no chance. I knew they will tell me to stop the pregnancy, at some point, but I couldn’t even see an ending like this for my baby.
During the scan we found out that is a boy so in the evening we decided his name: EMAD, meaning trust and faith. It was the perfect name,…I decided to trust him and my intuition and have faith in God.
At that time I was a Theta Healer practitioner, a technique based on a focus prayer/meditation, to train mind, body and soul to clear limiting beliefs and live life with positive thoughts, developing virtues in all that we do. I always had happy clients and I was witnessing miraculous healings so I start being my own client. Few times, I also worked together with other healers and we send many instant healings to the baby and also change many beliefs/paradigms; Because we all know the baby has same energy and feelings like the mother, we work on me and baby together, but still I was feeling like something is missing.

At one of the courses I had, in order to become a practitioner, we had to manifest how something impossible become possible. The word ” impossible” just ring in my head and I knew this was the piece missing from the  healing.

So I knew the baby condition start because of some obstruction, and I decided to witness the healing of that, to change the impossible into possible.

As I was witnessing the healing, I felt so relax and calm…It was so amazing…it was like a light going to the womb, and wash the baby and taking the obstruction and send it up into the infinite sky, in the light. I felt that healing in every cell of my body, I knew it happened.

Now, I was really waiting for the next appointment with the professor,to confirm me that something changed.. in better.
On 20 of February we finally see the professor Kypros Nicolaides at Harris Birthright Research centre for Fetal Medicine.
During the scan, there were 5 doctors with us, explaining what is happening. So at that point they see a normal size bladder and the ureters were not visible anymore, meaning they are not swollen, and still urinomas on both kidneys.
For me that was the best new, it was my confirmation that the obstruction really disappeared ( it was healed) and urine was going out normally.

But it didn’t mean same for the professor Nicolaides. He told us, because of too much pressure, the ureters break and that’s how the bladder shows empty.

I completely deny his theory and told him mine, but again I heard IMPOSSIBLE! He also said, the best advice he can give us is…. to stop the pregnancy. His words were like swords in my heart, I was feeling like living in a world where a baby life don’t matter… I knew he have a very good reputation but still, I stand up for my baby and for what I believe. I told him I want a next scan to show him I’m right, and my feelings as a mother are right as well. He gave us appointment after 1 week, and he was sure it will get worse. So sure that he said if the baby is stable until next time, he will come to take his words back. He also told us that is better to decide asap, because later on is more difficult. (An abortion)

Because I see he don’t give us no hope I ask him to measure the urinomas, so at the next appointment I can show him the improvement.
For me as I said this appointment just confirmed the healing start. For the next week,every morning and evening I was meditating, sending light and unconditional love to my baby’s kidneys, I was manifesting and praying for the impossible to become possible, and no matter what was going on in my life, I was always positive. It was very hard in this situation but I knew I’m doing for my baby, because he want to be born, I knew he chose life.

On 27th of February we go again to repeat the scan. I am so happy and grateful to tell you that I was right. Because they measure the urinomas I could see they are getting smaller, it wasn’t a huge difference but for me was enough. Plus I was waiting for the professor to show, because a week ago he said is impossible to remain stable, because he never saw that in his life. I didn’t told you but he almost laughed in my face when I said my baby will get better. Even after this scan they didn’t gave me any hope.

I maintain my mind and heart positive, no matter what they said. Every day I was doing theta healing sessions, first thing when I wake up it was being grateful for everything and being grateful for my healthy baby. Every night I was thanking for the day I had, and for getting 1 day more closer to meet Emad. While doing this everyday, I build a very strong connection with my baby, I knew him before he was born, I knew how he will look like and how he will be like, I felt him so strong, so wised; he might be a baby but I felt his soul so big and  pure!…
It last 7 weeks until both kidneys show in the scans completely healed. During this time as you will see in the scan pictures ,doctors were still negative about what will happen at birth.

At some point the professor discharge me from his hospital, as he saw the baby is getting better but he never come to see us. Why.? He was ashamed of his advice, or my baby’s life was to insignificant to matter? I was wondering since than , how many parents are getting too scared because of some diagnosis and choose to terminate the pregnancy ?. How many lives get wasted just because is IMPOSSIBLE for doctors to have faith and believe in miracles as well?

27.04.2018 scan And finally, both kidneys healed miraculously!

After all this on 4th July I became mother for 3rd time. At 2:31am it was born the strongest and cutest baby and obviously the healthiest one !

You will think maybe wow but don’t hurry yet, this didn’t end here.

Obviously 3 hospitals got involved into this, after his miraculous birth, trying to do research on ”why it heal” but I did not allow that. I’m sorry but in our case doctors weren’t right not even 1%, so I kept my position defending my baby. The only thing I accepted were few times blood tests and 2 repeated scans to show them how healthy he is, but it did happened to get with bruises on his arms and leg, after they force him to stay to check his blood pressure, which it wasn’t needed. Don’t think was easy to refuse the rest of the “tests”, I was threatened that social care will get involved, that the “boss of the hospital ” won’t be happy with my decision, I was accused in my house by the nurse that I am neglecting my baby. Exactly, the same hospital whose best advice was to abort, to kill my baby, now was trying to show interest, but why? My baby Emad, is healthy, he don’t need them now, but when he really needed them, they gave up on him, his life was not worthy for them.

Because they couldn’t continue with the other tests I did receive a call one day. The social care was involved now. I felt like I took a step into the hell. But I kept doing the same think: pray, meditate, manifest, believe and know that we are out of this . And that is how it happened; we were sent the best social worker and after many visits and knowing all my family story, we won the case. And not only. I had everything in my hand to send to court Homerton Hospital, but I didn’t bother, I was happy to be discharged from there.

Obviously the new hospital I choose did tried the same things but more quietly. They did tried to scare me , to emotionally abuse me and to take me as a stupid. They did realise that my support is God , and couldn’t fight with that. It took exactly 2 years after his birth, for all this drama to stop and they did accept that ”He is a miracle!” ( I am quoting the professor here).

‘’Some people will make you go through hell, But with faith  you will feel like walking in Heavens!” Mihaela Gordan

In all this story I don’t want you to think that I’m blaming doctors, no, there are many good doctors, who are trying their best. I did meet one of them, the only one who stayed and listen to me, and didn’t try to force me to do any unnecessary tests. I just say science is not everything and miracles do happen, when you have faith. Doctors are humans also and should believe in miracles, or at least allow the parents believe, do not scare them, give them hope. And when miracles happen, just let it be, experiments won’t give you the answer, because science will never understand the power of faith. For many, maybe this will be a nightmare, but for me it was and it is a blessing. Every second of my life since his birth, is gratitude. Even if he is little he has his purpose in this life, and already taught me how to have faith 100%, he taught me that in this stressful world it is possible to have a positive mind and a peaceful heart, you just need to decide to live this way. He show me how ” unconditional love ” together with faith can “move mountains “.But the most important is he show to all of us that impossible exist only because we limit our mind and we refuse to see further, maybe because of fear or to less faith. For us, Emad made the impossible, very possible. He is very strong, calm and happy baby, the happiest one I ever see. Since his birth, I am gifted with 1000s of smiles, his energy is so pure and calm, through his eyes I can see only unconditional love and anywhere I am if I am next to him I am in the most peaceful place on Earth. When I look at him I realised how blessed I am, I learned to appreciate every second of life and try to live it in unconditional love!

For many mothers the first months or even years, are full of crying, stress, depression, tiredness because of so many nights being awake. That was me also, with my other 2 kids.. but this time, his birth gave me strength, made me happier than ever before and complete.

He came to show me my real purpose in life, and that is to be a spiritual healer, so I can help as many parents as possible, who go through similar situations, so I hope this message can reach them!

I also realised that life is so perfect, and everything happen for a reason. I was introduced to the Theta Healing technique, after I suffered 2 miscarriages, it never go through my mind that later on this technique will help to save my baby life. But again, faith was and it is everything, theta healing is nothing else than a focused prayer in a relax state of mind, which is theta brain waves.

Because I was asked so many times how I did this, how this is possible, how to change illness into health, I create this powerful Sacred Health Meditation for everyone to use, free of charge. This is what I use to pray, visualise and believe in, every morning and night! This is how, together with my baby, we changed the impossible into possible!

Click HERE to download the Sacred Health Meditation.

I am sending you all, unconditional love and don’t forget, before to give up, decide to have 100% faith, and things will turn around!

#COMMUNITY #WISDOM #WELL-BEING

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