Community//

If you want to be extraordinary at influencing people, be great at attunement.

Why attunement matters when it comes to influencing and leading people?

influencing and leading people
Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

What do great copywriters, marketers and sales professional have in common?

They listen.

To be specific, they attune to their prospects or market.

What if you meet different people within a short period of time who reinforced similar messages, advices, themes, lessons or insights for you?

Would you be more likely to pay attention to those messages?

This was what happened to one of the participants I coached last year after a full day training programme I was helping out.

At the end of the coaching, this participant said, “How come you highlighted the same things as what the other coaches said to me?”

While she stood there in awe and in deep reflective mode, it made me realize how powerful collective influence can be on a person as well as an organization.

By the way, all these were unplanned for. I was asked by this participant to help her out on a last minute notice.

Although it looks like a fortunate stroke of serendipity, it was actually intentional.

And it can be facilitated with these few strategies and principles in mind.

Nothing happens by accident.

Have you had the experience where you thought of someone and then the next moment, either you received a call or text message or you happened to bump into him or her on the streets a few days later?

Or you probably encountered experiences or incidents where you had a sense of déjà vu as if you have ‘already lived through’ something or been to a particular place even though it was the first time for you.

Sometimes, you might also felt so connected with a stranger as if you have known him or her for years and that both of your thoughts and non-verbal cues are so in sync with each other.

We often label these moments with words like coincidence, intuition, synchronicity or serendipity.

Unknown to many, nothing happens by accident. Simply because, we are bound by unseen and often unnoticed connections. And these connections exist between people even if they have never met.

So what binds us at such a deep and yet invisible level?

The Global Consciousness Project, an international, multidisciplinary collaboration of scientists and engineers, collects data continuously from a global network of physical random number generators located in up to 70 host sites around the world at any given time.

They are trying to study the patterns of how earth’s fields and collective consciousness of human mental and emotional processes, health outcomes, and collective human behavior interact.

For instance, through years of data collected through the Global Coherence Monitoring System, correlations have been found that solar activity has not only has been associated with social unrest; it has also been related to the periods of greatest human flourishing in architecture, arts and science, and positive social change.

Photo by Ksenia Makagonova on Unsplash

This phenomenon of the collective field of consciousness also showed up in group events led by Dr Joe Dispenza, an international lecturer, researcher, corporate consultant, author, and educator.

In a live global streaming meditation event, he saw how 550 participants moved into heart coherence during a group meditation on the same day. They also influenced others who were wearing heart rate monitors to move into heart coherence at a remote location.

Whether we know it or not, we are fundamentally interconnected, tapping into the collective consciousness rather frequently without actually being aware of it, where everything is energy.

What we can’t see does not mean it isn’t there.

Cymatic experiments like this one demonstrate how energy of the sound waves can effect changes in the physical world, where sounds can be translated as visual symbols and patterns!

How can you raise your level of attunement to become an extraordinary influencer?

So then how can you apply this in your practical world? How do you discover the energy field of connections? How can you tap into this field of collective consciousness for impact and influence?

I discovered below are some essential qualities to put in place.

Awareness

You can open yourself to greater insights, discoveries and transformations by developing your awareness of what is going on inside and around oneself.

For awareness to grow and develop, you need to expand your capacity to notice: not only noticing the obvious, but also the less obvious, the seemingly less important.

In order to do that you may need to let go of your expectations and pre-determined patterns. Which brings me to the next point.

Adopt a beginner’s mindset

This quote from Shunryu Suzuki encapsulates the essence of a beginner’s mindset beautifully:

“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few.”

Shunryu Suzuki

Everything and everyone changes.

Which means, whatever you know or has success before will change and get outdated in time to come.

By adopting a beginner’s mindset, you are being curious what is happening as of now – the present moment. I found this to be quite useful in overcoming my own blindspots.

Hence, don’t try to be the smartest person in the room.

Be a beginner instead, no matter how expert you are in your field of work.

Humility can go a long way to getting a strong buy-in from others.

Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

Embrace silence

The quieter you are, the better you see, hear and feel.

By embracing silence, you are being an objective observer rather than as a participant of your own experience or thoughts.

One way you can practice this is by noticing the in-between pauses in your breathing, movement, feelings and thoughts, without needing to fill in anything else.

I remembered in a somatic dance workshop, one of the activities involved us navigating the space with our eyes closed while a buddy was guiding us only with their hands tapping on us without talking.

In the beginning, I was a bit hesitant to move. There was a lot of doubts going on in my mind.

After a while, I trusted not just my partner, but more so myself and simply tuned into this grace and silence, in the midst of people moving through the same space in different directions at the same time! How chaotic was that!

Interestingly, not only can I navigate the space confidently, speeding up and slowing down as per the intensity of my buddy’s taps, I felt as though I can see the space better with my eyes closed.

In that moment, I realised that sometimes, seeing with our eyes can be a noise and distraction. By closing our eyes, it somehow forced us to pay attention to silence.

What’s more surprising is this. There weren’t any collisions. Everyone was moving in synergy in a seemingly chaotic activity.

Such is the power of collective silence in action. In that silence, the shared outcome of that activity, built upon trust, was heard and well-guided!

Photo by Igor Kasalovic on Unsplash

Holding the space

Holding space for someone or a group means you are there with them.

You are willing to walk alongside with another person without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying hard to make them feel better, discounting them, trying to fix them or even trying to impact the outcome.

It is a subtle yet powerful form of unconditional love and support for others.

The coaching moment I mentioned earlier was possible because a ‘stage’ (metaphorically) was being set for the group. It was held by values such as compassion, openness, understanding, integrity and respect – giving people the permission to trust their own version of growth and success.

What I was doing then is simply to embody the culture of the group as I was coaching. I was using the methodology and approach that the class is most familiar with instead of my way and to trust the process.

More importantly, I was WITH that participant. I’m not going against her. I held a space of trust that she already has the resources in her. And whatever suggestions I shared with her were built upon her resourcefulness, no matter where she is with her outcomes.

The biggest takeaway here is to get out of my own way. I’m here to help others see their power and gifts, not take away from them. I’m not their guru. In that sense, I’m not trying to prove that I have to be the cause of their success. The ball is in their court, not mine.

I discovered this to be the most vital ingredient in tapping into a collective consciousness of a group, community or organization before gaining their trust to lead and influence.

Transcend at a higher level of consciousness

As far as collective intelligence is concern, not all is as great as what we expect.

An emergent pattern of such is the Hive Intelligence. And a popular association here is the development of A.I. to orchestrate this Hive Mind.

The unhealthy aspects of the hive intelligence come in forms of a groupthink, where people stay stuck in status quo in order to preserve the peace and harmony within the group, rather than to voice their idea or opinion.

The group mentality of the hive mind can lead to deindividuation.

As a result, an individual can lose his or her self-awareness in a group.

This can lead to issues such as cyberbullying where individuals are easily swayed and targeted.

Not only that, this also give rise to ‘smart mobs’ where they can be used to commit harmful actions such as mass hacking of private accounts.

On a daily basis, as technologies get smarter in our hyper-connected virtual interactions, data are collected from the sites we surf to the preferences we indicated through our social media habits. This then allow companies to retarget and personalize their services at us, which can be invasive or creepy sometimes.

That said, digital tools has their usefulness and value in helping us to organise and understand what’s going on at a macro level.

However, purely relying on A.I. isn’t going to make much of a difference. That’s just sweeping our problems under the carpet.

A transcendent solution, influence, leadership and power come from embodying human qualities at a higher level of consciousness.

After all, we can’t solve complex problems by operating at the same level of thinking where the problems are created.

In today’s context filled with increasing uncertainty, complexity and volatility, this becomes ever more vital.

Do you look at problems as problems or from a transcendent approach?

How did Johan Galtung, a Norwegian pioneer in peace and conflict resolution, resolved a 55-year-old border dispute between Peru and Ecuador?

Build a wall?

Nope.

In fact, there is no border at all!

Today, the area is run cohesively by both countries, and it even includes a jointly administered nature park.

His approach is based on principles of transcendence – where he co-founded TRANSCEND in 1993: A Peace Development Environment Network, an organization for conflict transformation by peaceful means.

“How we see ourselves affects how we see everything outside of ourselves as well. Do your inner work if you want to have a better outer life.”

Akiroq Brost

In my interactions and work with different people, I learned that my presence – how I show up in life matters.

This comes not by faking it or to psych yourself up, but through authentic embodiment.

Embodiment comes from what you put into practice on a daily basis.

  • What are your personal habits?
  • What is your routine like?
  • What media and content are you exposing your mind with?
  • Who are you with?
  • What thought patterns and feelings are you holding yourself to?
  • What kind of diet and lifestyle are you consuming?

By auditing your life on those areas, you can shift and make adjustments on how you move, act, think, feel, your energy and your communication.

The people you want to speak to are also auditing you. They are discerning if you belong to the ‘inner circle’ of people who truly know them or you are just an ‘outsider.’

In essence, who you are becomes the resonance you create.

When you resonate at a higher level of consciousness, you position yourself as someone whom your audience respects – who lives and embodies soulful perspectives that others aspire towards.

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...

Well-Being//

What The Leading Love Experts Say About the Healthiest Way to Fight

by Eric Barker
Westend61/Getty Images
Well-Being//

How to Build Trust in Your Relationship

by The Gottman Institute

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.