Community//

If You are Constantly “SHOULDING” Yourself, Here is a List You Really Need

A New Challenge for Smart Women Who are Over-Achievers

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres on our open platform. We publish pieces as written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Community stories are not commissioned by our editorial team and must meet our guidelines prior to being published.

This week I’ve been hearing a lot of “shoulds” from my clients. Do you also tend to “should” yourself? These are just a few of the shoulds that I’ve heard in the past few days:

I should:

  • start writing my book
  • begin meditating
  • organize my bookkeeping receipts
  • begin an email newsletter
  • sell more
  • pitch my story to the media
  • finish my business plan
  • network more
  • post more on social media
  • start exercising
  • create meal plans
  • clean the garage
  • organize my closets

Does this look anything like the “should” list in your head? Most of these are good things to do, yet we never seem to find the time to do them. Why is that?

When you are in a mindset of constantly telling yourself what you need to do and should be doing, that energy can get very heavy. You’ll begin to think that there will never be enough time to do all the things you “need” to do. Your days will begin to feel longer and more tedious and you won’t really feel happy about your work or your life.

When a client is telling me all the things she needs to start doing, I usually ask this question:

What do you need to stop doing?

I talk every day with smart, successful women who all have a long list of all the things they need to start doing. I have never yet met a woman with a list of what she needs to stop doing, so I’ve gone ahead and created one for you here:

Right Click to Save, Print, and Share

Feel free to print this list and share with others.

Friends, when it comes to “shoulding” yourself, I used to be the master. This week, forget about what you need to start doing. Instead, work on your not-to-do list, and like me, you will suddenly find the time and space to do all of those really important things that you’ve not been able to get to.

If you’ve found this article helpful, please click on the ♥︎ heart ♥︎ below.

And leave me a comment, I’d love to know what’s on your NOT-TO-DO list.

Remember, you don’t need anyone’s permission to do what you were meant to do.

Beth Caldwell


For more inspiration visit coachbethcaldwell.com/bethtoldme.

Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...

Community//

“Be Yourself.” With Penny Bauder & Mary Beth Westmoreland

by Penny Bauder, Founder of Green Kid Crafts
Well-Being//

Ways to Stop ‘Should-ing’ All Over Your Life

by Leslie M. Bosserman
Community//

Wendy Lund: Nearly half of women don’t make sufficient time to focus on their health; we need this to change

by Akemi Sue Fisher

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.