After my 15 1/2 year old son Josh was struck by a car and killed in 2002, I began to experience being on the receiving end of people’s care and compassion. Yet I also became familiar with those who did not know what to say or do. And from this I learned, when you don’t know what to do or say, DON’T DO NOTHING. Even a brief note, or email, or kind gesture is a welcome source of comfort to the person in a state of grief. I came across this poem I wrote at the cemetery, 3 years to the day after the tragic moment when Josh was hit. Maybe it will spark action for you if there comes a time when you don’t know what to do for someone who is grieving….
I Wonder What She’s Doing
She must be sad today.
I don’t know how she gets through the day.
A heart heavier, a sadness more pervasive than I can imagine.
I’m lucky it’s not me.
I won’t even go there.
I feel sorry for her.
Such a tragedy.
I can’t stop thinking about it. About her.
About her family.
I don’t even know what to say to her.
And then, a voice came to me. My other voice.
The one that starts in my heart.
And it said, “Call her.”
I reached for the phone.