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I Struggled for Over 20 Years with Binge Eating Disorder. This is How I Recovered.

Hitting rock bottom (again) led to the greatest discovery of my life- The Six Pillars of Wellness

The scale read 264. The closest I’d ever been to 300 pounds. 

I remember when my first highest weight was 242. I then lost 60 pounds. Shortly after, I gained 80. Then I lost 30 and gained 40 and then I lost a whopping 100… but somehow ended up here, at 264.

I’d lost yet another battle with my Binge Eating Disorder.

I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to have to start over again, for the seemingly millionth time. But it was my only option.

I couldn’t take feeling this way ever again after this. It had to be the last time. 

I mean come on, I was a Kickboxing Instructor. People came to ME to learn how to lose weight, get in shape, and be healthy. I felt like a fraud.

Why couldn’t I figure it out? Why did it seem so easy for some people and so incredibly impossible for me? I heard so much about a “healthy” and “balanced” lifestyle but- what did that mean? 

My Binge Eating Disorder was ruling my life and I needed to heal from it. Any diet or weight loss program I had ever been on only enhanced my unhealthy perfectionist, control freak, and “all or nothing” tendencies. 

I took a step back. If my life felt completely out of control in so many ways. It was then that the lightbulb went off- if so much of my life felt OUT of control, maybe it was time to focus on the things that I DID have control over.

For the next six months, I used a calendar to track six areas of my life: food, exercise, water, sleep, supplements, and mindfulness. The Six Pillars of a healthy lifestyle. I learned how to balance by following these guidelines:

SOME days you get ALL of the Pillars.

MOST days you get MOST of the Pillars.

RARELY do you get a FEW of the Pillars.

EVERY SINGLE DAY you get at least ONE Pillar.

I tracked these pieces of my days for six months on a yes or no basis. I either hit the Pillar for the day or I did not. For example: If I ate well and fed my body healthy, delicious, and nutritious foods as it deserves- I hit the Food Pillar. If I ate out or a lot of processed foods or if I binged, I did not hit the Pillar- and that was okay. As established by the guidelines, it wasn’t expected for me to hit the Food Pillar every single day- in fact, it was unrealistic. 

While food, exercise, water, sleep, and supplements are all very important. The mother of all Pillars is the last one- mindfulness. Practicing mindfulness most days and eventually, every day is how I found the answer to all of my questions. It was how I was able to end my 20-year war with Binge Eating Disorder, break toxic patterns, heal traumas and unhealthy behaviors and in doing all of that I was able to get the weight off- and it was easy.

Human beings have this amazing ability to over-complicate and over-analyze everything and how to live a healthy and balanced lifestyle is one of those things. The Pillars are easy. The Pillars are healing. The Pillars work for everyone. A happy, healthy, and balanced lifestyle is possible- even for you!

To learn more about the Pillars visit michellewilonski.com

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