I pretended that I never wanted children

I used to believe that I didn’t deserve to be happy

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Caused by the circumstances of my strange upbringing and the lack of guidance in my childhood, I had very low self-esteem in my twenties. I worked as a tour guide all over the world and between the age of 20 to 31, I never stayed in any place longer than 7 months. I had no stability in my life, going from one unhappy relationship to the next, watching other people my age getting married and starting families while I was the crazy chick who was jetting around the planet, pretending to have fun and not being interested in children, ever. Deep inside me I felt very unfulfilled and empty and I started looking for the deeper meaning of life, I began to wake up to a new state of consciousness.

I learned that I could create my life and that no matter what happened in the past, I did not need to allow it to define my future. I learned, that by setting goals and visualizing what I wanted, I could actually get it. When I was 31, one of my friends gave birth to a little boy and I fell in love, I suddenly started dreaming of having kids as well and things started falling into place. Three years later I was pregnant with my first baby and 18 months after the most beautiful girl in the world was born, things just got even better, I gave birth to a little boy.

Becoming a mother was the best thing I ever did in my life. When I looked at my baby girl for the first time, I was absolutely besotted. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and all I wanted to do was just hold her all the time. I loved watching her and talking to her and for the first time in my life I felt complete. 18 months later, when my little boy was born, I was the happiest person on earth. I so much enjoyed being a mother, we had a lot of fun, dancing, singing, playing, going to the beach or travelling to our other home in Switzerland, where they are both studying now.

One of the things which were important to my husband and me was that our children would grow up trilingual and we achieved that goal with ease. While I only spoke to them in German and my husband only spoke to them in Greek, they learned perfect English at their school. Another thing which was important to me was to pass on two of my passions, one is skiing and the other one is travelling, which they both enjoy doing too.

Becoming a mother became my passion and my total fulfilment, it grounded me, and I finally belonged somewhere. I loved watching my children grow and guiding them into becoming beautiful young adults who are now finding their own place in the world, I will always be there for them, as long as I live.

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