Rejection is a part of life.
Nobody is immune to it.
At some point or another, a person, job or organization will reject you.
The problem is that most of us crumble in the face of rejection. We take it personally and allow it to cause us pain. Some of us deal with rejection by doubling up on our armor – we make ourselves less vulnerable and more closed. We become harder and more rigid, thinking this will shield us from more pain.
Others amongst us deal with rejection by shrinking and becoming smaller. We take the rejection to heart and quit taking risks, we lose our luster and we lose confidence in who we are. We become shadows of our former selves.
The problem with both armoring and shrinking is that both come from a place of fear. And fear *always* feels bad.
Like all things in life, everything is about perspective. Our perspective on any situation can either bring us pain or bring us peace.
This post will help you reframe how you think about rejection.
By the end of this post, my hope is that you’ll embrace rejection, instead of fearing it. Maybe you’ll even look forward to it. I know I do!
3 Beliefs That Will Allow You To Celebrate Rejection Rather Than Fear It
1. Rejection = Authentic Living
You should be throwing yourself a party. Why, because you got rejected? Absolutely.
Here’s the thing. Only the people who take risks and jump into the arena of life with both feet end up living fulfilling successful lives. Sure, you got rejected. You’re also living your life bravely and authentically and going after what you want. That, my friend, is worthy of a party all by itself.
Do you know how many people stay small and spend life on the sidelines playing it safe? Do you know how many people don’t apply for their dream job, don’t express their love for someone and don’t turn in their incredible manuscript? Way too many.
As Brene Brown so eloquently says below, you can choose courage or you can choose comfort, and the very fact that you got rejected means you chose courage. More power to you! Every single successful person in this world fell a million times before succeeding. That’s simply what the road to success looks like. You fall, you get up, you keep going. You fall, you get up, you keep going.
2. When One Door Closes, Another Opens
Have you ever known this not to be true? There are a million doors out there, and every single time one closes, others open up. Usually much better doors, too. Doors you didn’t even know existed. But if you remain focused on the one door that closed on you, you’ll be completely oblivious to all the other doors trying to get your attention.
So walk away from the closed door and stay open to all the fantastic new opportunities that are on their way to you as we speak!
3. What’s Meant For You Cannot Reject You
This is just a fact. What’s yours will be yours. What is meant for you, will inevitably be yours. And if it’s not meant for you, you won’t have it. This is a very unemotional way of looking at rejection that is incredibly helpful at bypassing pain and hurt.
Your “person” cannot reject you. Why? Because they’re your person, they are meant for you, and so when they show up in your life, they’ll embrace you. If the person in front of you isn’t embracing you, they’re not your person. That simple! This makes letting go of people so much easier.
Your perfect job cannot reject you. If you don’t get hired, you must assume that the job wasn’t in fact a perfect fit for you, even if you were convinced that it was.
If your dream grad school rejects you – it wasn’t the right program for you.
If a publishing company rejects your manuscript, it’s because there’s a much better partnership coming your way.
So whatever you do, don’t stop going after what you want. Don’t stop taking risks. Don’t stop getting up when you fall. Even if you fall hard. Remember, always choose courage over comfort!
When Your Belief System Fails You – Turn To Logic
When your belief system fails you, simply turn to logic! Logic never fails.
When it comes to rejection, our fears are never statistically substantiated. For example, a lover rejects us and we moan: “No one will ever love me again!” or “There’s no other suitable person out there for me!.” I mean hello. There are 7.7 billion people in the world. Can you rationally say that you’re more likely to end up alone than to find another partner?
When we fall into the emotional pit of despair, an easy way to climb out is by looking at all the facts. And the facts most of the time point in your favor. Of course you’ll meet someone else. Of course you’ll find another job. Of course you’ll make other friends. Of course you’ll [fill in the blank]. Because it’s statistically impossible that you not.
Rejection and Self-Worth
When you sincerely love every inch of your being, rejection doesn’t phase you.
You understand that rejection has nothing to do with you and you simply don’t take it personally. You know your worth, you know your gifts, and you know with certainty that the right person, job, friends, etc will embrace you.
You reason that whoever or whatever rejected you must have simply not been in alignment with your higher purpose. You shrug your shoulders, break out in a big smile, and move forward with renewed purpose and joy. You know with certainty that bigger and better things await you.
Yeah! Life takes on a whole new meaning when you love yourself.
If you struggle with people pleasing and being authentic, read: How To Stop Being A People Pleaser And Embrace The Real You
One Last Thing
When I get rejected, this is what I hear the Universe/God whispering in my ear:
“Sorry sweetie, you can’t have that because I’ve got something so much yummier in store for you. You just wait, Angel. It’s on its way to you and it’s SO MUCH BETTER than what you originally wanted.”
And by the way, in my 35 years, I have NEVER not found this to be true! So be patient Angel, bigger and better things are coming your way!
This is what I hope you’ll look like next time you get rejected: