As the pressure of spending a perfect Christmas and a snazzy New Year’s started building up I could feel myself torn in all directions. As I read the invites for the fancy celebrations I had been invited to, instead of feeling happy I started feeling anxious. As is my usual wont, whenever I am confronted by a difficult situation I introspect and try to understand what is wrong and find a solution. In this case, I realized, that usually I am an extrovert and love going out, so it’s not that I started hating celebrations but rather instead of focusing on myself I was bending over backwards to appease everyone. I was making everyone, except me, happy.
The reality is that unless we are happy ourselves we can’t make others happy. The secret to happiness is learning to love yourself unconditionally. You have to embrace yourself, warts and all, even though you may not be perfect. After all, no one is perfect and it’s when you move away from the ideas of perfection that you learn to see the real you. It’s the ‘real you’ that can face up to any situation because your biggest armor is your honesty. The dishonesty is the drain on our energy dragging us into an abyss of unhappiness. Once you learn to be honest with yourself, you realize that you expend zero energy in unwanted activities or with people you don’t want to be with.
It’s then, that we will also develop an attitude of gratitude. When we have knowingly surrounded ourselves with things we want to do or people we want to be with there can be no reason for unhappiness. That’s when we learn to be thankful for all the changes in our life and for life itself. I recently decided not to let anyone-be it friends, family, acquaintances, strangers, rain on my parade because according to them I was imperfect. Instead I turned it around and let their negative judgmental attitude push me into performing better and to notch up a few accomplishments-like starting a new app for law, writing a new book and some weight loss. It’s when we turn the unhappiness inside out that we discover that there is happiness on the upturned side. Soon our accomplishments become a permanent figure in our life slowly but surely pushing out unhappiness from our life.
Happiness is so empowering that you can take on the world. Think of the time when you are at Disney World and you feel that the world is a fantastic magical place. In fact, you feel a bit magical yourself and feel that you can accomplish anything you decide to do. Now imagine having that powerful attitude every single day of your life. It would transform the way you look at yourself and the world. It would also forever change the way that you deal with yourself and the world.
Can finding happiness be so simple? Actually yes! Does everything have to be complicated to be meaningful?
Just shed your scales of unhappiness and don a new skin of happiness. Look in the mirror, smile at yourself, hug yourself and tell yourself that you will be happy.
Happy New Year and May this year be the happiest one for you!
P.S. I didn’t go for either of the parties, in case you’re wondering…and before I had time to think whether I had made a huge mistake BBC News called me on 1st Jan 2018 for an interview …So I couldn’t have asked for a greater validation of the fact that I was and am on the right track.
Till next time. Live Life Empressize.