When was the last time you looked in the mirror and thought “there she is.”
6 months ago, I couldn’t tell you when I last saw myself.
Deep in the year of the pandemic, every time I looked in the mirror I thought…
“Why do I look so tired? Why do I feel so tired? Is my skin aging faster than usual?”
…or I thought of all of the things I had to do that day, or wasn’t going to get to, or wasn’t doing very well.
But I never thought “here I am.”
It’s a funny thing realizing you are lost…not in direction outside of yourself, but in direction INSIDE of yourself.
You check the boxes as you go…
- Enough cutlery and bake wear to host Thanksgiving in your home…check
- Work Hard to Lose the Baby Weight…trying to check
- Career Path that fulfills me…check-ish
- Things that bring you joy outside of motherhood and marriage that remind you who you are and how to always have a good laugh at yourself…..oops…forgot to check that one.
This is where the trouble begins, we get so caught up in where we are supposed to go, that we forget to stop along the way and remember why we even want to go there in the first place.
…and then guilt ridden over feeling unsatisfied we think we must simply need to hustle harder.
- Do a HARDER workout
- Volunteer MORE at the kids school
- Raise your hand for that extra project at work
Doing more surely will make you better right? More fulfilled? More satisfied?
We are bombarded by cliche quotes like:
“Good things happen to those who hustle”
“Hustle in silence and let your success make the noise.”
This is where the trouble amplifies.
I don’t know WHO wrote these quotes, but they must NOT have been a mother, and certainly not a mother in a pandemic.
…because sister…you ARE hustling.
From dawn until dusk you hustle…through dishwasher unloading, breakfasts and packing lunches. Through carpool, work, dentist appointments and appliance repair people. Through dog walks, homework, kid activities and dinner prep. Through cleaning the house, laundry, taxes and bills.
Hustle isn’t just your middle name any more. YOU are Mrs. Hustle…until you fall asleep exhausted at night hoping nothing (or no one) wakes you so you don’t spend 2 hours running taking stock of your worries.
But the hustle wears us down.
The hustle takes its toll.
We think we need to add a workout, eat less, do more.
But what we really need is to slow our roll. Take stock of all of the things we do and take a deep breath.
Adding hustle to a hustle – much like a double negative – creates a positive every time…and not a positive result.
Increased weight gain
Increased fat storage
I was so afraid of slowing down
Here is what I learned
- If your body is stressed out, it WILL NOT lose weight…instead it will go on strike and dig it’s heels in like a stubborn teenager, pulling out all of the stops including storing excess hormones it can’t deal with as belly fat AND creating brain fog, night wakings, body temperature irregularity, cravings and mood swings. You have to STOP pushing through if you are in this state and heal your body.
- When I skipped working out during my period and used that time to rest and go slow, I had better periods and more energy to make healthy food choices and preparation…fewer cravings, better results.
- Prioritizing finding things that made me laugh, brought me joy, gave me the space to notice what my body was saying.
When you slow down sister, you begin to catch glimpses of YOU. You create space for your body to heal, to breathe, to relax, to let go of excess emotion and weight.
Kiss the added hustle goodbye, you are already hustling.