So I started my Monday morning with a WhatsApp message from my cousin Pooja which read like this, “You didn’t invite me properly to your get-together so I didn’t come …you didn’t even get the caterer that I recommended…you didn’t even invite my mom properly. She’s feeling so bad. You know Vandu I felt really hurt….let’s meet and discuss this……” As I sat there looking at the message I smiled to myself thinking-yet another drama dissing me. I’ve been subject to this drama since the past ten years or maybe even longer. The theme remains the same-YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT.
And my mantra has been-I BELIEVE IN MYSELF
But does one keep believing in themselves?
One of the things I have been doing over the years is completely blanking out all the criticism from known critics. How do you identify known critics? We all know them, they are the ones who find fault with everything and everybody-be it the perfect avocado sandwich or a rainbow in the sky. So these are full-time critics whose job is to criticize and most of their criticism amounts to nothing. They have no constructive criticism but only destructive criticism. Shut your eyes for a minute and you will see a number of them in your friends and family. Now each time they speak, replace their head, in your mind, with a wastepaper basket and all you’ll see is garbage, which is what their views are worth. Once you do this, after some time, you’ll laugh at yourself for ever having believed them and then laugh at them for talking nonsense and then finally- you even start to pity them for all their own unhappiness which they are projecting onto you. When the final step occurs you know that you are finally free of their unwanted useless criticism.
Once you have a certain set of beliefs you need to act on them. Like I believed that I would write a book and I wrote two of them- 360 degrees back to life and Ex-Files and am on the verge of publishing a third one on Buddhism. It was tough-trying to hold onto a job, to your life in the middle of an acrimonious divorce-but I somehow managed to do it. Whenever I am getting complacent and try to over-delegate I think about those days when I was managing to do all of this with almost no funds and I get right back to working it out
You need to keep the victory lap going– So each time I fail- like I am currently- at setting up a world class app-it’s my third attempt- I do despair for some time and then get up, dust off my knees and get prepared for the next victory lap. So am sure by the beginning of next year my app Divorcekart will be up and running and I’ll be sharing my failures and successes with you.
But whatever happens I’ll never stop believing in myself and hugging myself because sometimes others forget to.
P.S. Pooja is angry with me…yet again…because I haven’t returned her call to understand how I am making all the wrong moves in life. Incidentally Pooja has lost her job 20 years ago and is spending her time sponging off her elderly parents.
Till next time keep the winning feeling alive and…
Live Life EmpressSize