It’s the end of the calendar year and I am sure all of you have already started writing, erasing or ripping and, then, starting all over again with your New Year’s resolution list; a list that depicts our hopes, dreams and fears for a year we haven’t been introduced to yet. Well, exactly like you, I have already made a pile of scrap lists with resolutions, but this year I’ve made a very conscious decision for their content: Nowhere in my list the word “over” will be contained or implied, and if this sounds quite confusing to you, please let me explain it hereby.
For years I had the feeling, that all aspects of our lives- success, wealth, happiness- are constantly measured against how many “overs” we have reached or overcome. The goals of “over-accomplishment”, of “over-concentration” of wealth, experiences or information, of “over-you name it” always seem unattainable as they measure against the successes, wealth and accomplishments of other people out there, or against the long and deep-rooted aspirations of our immediate environment, putting us in an endless, exhausting rat race. In this scenario, enough is never enough, and usually it is perceived as disappointing as there is always more out there to conquer, while we so inconsiderately undervalue the preciousness of the small victories that accumulatively shape who we are.
In this context, how about if I give you a glimpse of the “over” words that I intend to ban from my New Year’s Resolution list this year?
How many times haven’t you brought yourself to the limit of mental and physical exhaustion, believing that this is the only way of thinking in order to achieve your goals (professional, personal, family, financial etc.)? How many times hasn’t the goal itself become more important than its creator, i.e. “you”? Well, this year let’s not focus on the goal as such, lets focus on us. Let’s focus on our mental, emotional and physical wellbeing that will eventually help us achieve our goals, bringing us a step closer to our dreams. Let’s not afraid to challenge ourselves to become each day a better version of ourselves. And, if we also add a few sprinkles of gratitude in the process, I am positive that we will do miracles!
We tried it and we know it does not work. There is no need to over-analyze every single issue in life, every drawback, every opportunity, every crossroad. It’s about time for our reason to work hand in hand with our instincts, our life experiences, our characters and values. Probably the decisions will be more genuine, and we will remain true to ourselves.
We must realize it and live with it. Not everyone arounds us comes with the best intentions. It is so natural to feel angry towards people who mistreat us, but it is wiser just to accept them. People are not perfect, they come in our lives with agendas, personal baggages, mental and emotional silos. Over-expecting from people just leads to frustration and bitterness, because usually it leads to disappointment. Rather, accepting that everyone gives/feels whatever one is capable of, is the best strategy to stay undistracted, protect ourselves and stay focused on our life path.
This one is quite straightforward. We constantly try to thoroughly explain things to ourselves and others, but admittedly with no luck in the end. People, including us, interpret and filter things through the funnel of their own reality and perceptions. Nobody needs to convince anyone, each one of us adds a piece of his own views and mindsets to a very interesting and diverse life puzzle.
How many times haven’t we stayed awake during the night thinking and planning our next move on something important, only to discover afterwards that life had different plans for us? Instead of over-planning, over-thinking, exhausting ourselves with all the “what ifs” and “maybes” of the world, we could try, each single day, to make baby steps towards the life that we really want. Making wise choices, with confidence, humbleness and staying motivated to what matters the most, may be a preferable tactic. Let’s focus on long-term goals, without neglecting today’s small victories.
So, after having banned all the above words from my New Year’s Resolution list, please wish me the word “over” to be heard in 2019 only in association with overwhelming happiness, health, progress, resilience and trust that the best is yet to come…
I wish that to all of you! Have a fabulous 2019!