I am Officially an Adult and I Didn’t Saw this Coming

By the time you reach your 20s, you are officially an adult. And how many times have you waited for this moment during your younger years thinking you’ll enjoy the independence and freedom? Imagine how liberated I felt from the fact that I get to design my own place after finding a decent job. I […]

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I am Officially an Adult and I Didn’t Saw this Coming
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By the time you reach your 20s, you are officially an adult. And how many times have you waited for this moment during your younger years thinking you’ll enjoy the independence and freedom? Imagine how liberated I felt from the fact that I get to design my own place after finding a decent job.

I spend my days doing research from what appliances to get up to, even personalizing my house using carpets and ceiling paints like this. I feel like at this point in your life is where you also start thinking about the future. Just like getting a good quality ceiling paint that makes surfaces stronger while concealing flaws, we should consider if our decisions will be better for us in the long run.

However, life isn’t a movie where the protagonist only comes across one conflict; then everything will go smoothly from there. So if you’re fresh into adulthood, let me tell you my realizations that I wish I can tell my early 20s self. 

I Was Not Shy at All

First of all, I want to clarify that I’m aware of certain medical conditions that can affect a person and how he/she can be portrayed as shy. I don’t want to claim that there is a magical cure to improve a person’s behavior overnight.

In my case, I just started to realize the reasons for my actions when I was young. It’s like a switch where I felt like I made myself believe that I have this personality trait, and then one day, I “woke” up. During my days in high school, I remembered being worried every time our teacher announced that we have to introduce ourselves in the front. I feel so conscious about the thought of people looking at me and judging me. 

But like I said, there came a time where the switch flicked, and I realized that I am probably embracing a personality or label placed on me. And what’s even funny is that it might also happen to you even without someone calling you out as shy. However, you just assumed that they think that just because you are not as talkative as you expect yourself to be. 

My takeaway here is that how you view yourself is what will most likely be what other people will see. Perhaps you are limiting yourself in a box because you are embracing assumptions both from yourself and other people. Before you think of a possible flaw, think first if it is really something that you have. 

Opportunity Comes But You Have to Make Way For It

Another realization that I stumbled upon is that almost everything, if not all, requires hard work. Sure, life can still somehow weave every circumstance to your advantage, but the opposite is more likely to happen.

I have a hard time accepting this fact, so understandably, I feel angry because I feel like I’m being treated unfairly. However, let me tell you this; Life will knock you down several times regardless of how much effort you’re putting in. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t bother trying at all; it just means that you also have to be strong enough and be okay with this fact. 

You have no control over how each day will play out. Everybody has their own minds, so their decisions for the day is up to them. I know how much easier it is just to blame other people, but it’s better to put that energy somewhere else. 

At the same time, be realistic with the expectations you have for yourself. You are not being pessimistic and hopeless, it’s just that you have to be prepared to lose the things you’re investing to. 

But before you misunderstood, I want you to know that opportunities and the right timing will arrive one day. And when they do, do not depend on luck. You have to work, or else nothing will work. There might be a small possibility, but it’s like believing in magic. Besides, the changes that come by a stroke of luck is not as good as the changes that you’ve done yourself. 

When the opportunity finally comes, it is up to you to pave the way for it. And by this I meant that you have always to be prepared. Take every mistake as a lesson. In return, you will be molded into the version of yourself suitable for what’s yet to come. 

Change is Truly Inevitable

One of the things that I have a hard time accepting in adulthood is that everything is temporary, and change is inevitable. I think the reason why it’s uncomfortable to change and let things go is that these acts take us out of what we’re used to.

Once you entered adulthood, prepare yourself with the mentality that everything is bound to change. The moment that you are currently in will not be the same years from now. This is a thought that isn’t easy to accept, especially if it means that the positive emotions you’re having now will be someday replaced. However, you can view this fact as an inspiration that even if uncomfortable moments will happen, the better exchange is just right around the corner. 

Speaking of change, another hard truth that you will realize as an adult is that the people in your life will come and go. I want to reassure you that it’s going to be okay. Take comfort with the thought that the negative emotions that you feel because of what people did to you will flee someday. 

It is at this time that you have to strengthen yourself to the point that you don’t need to depend on another when you need help. Yes, no man is an island but practice a healthy relationship with yourself too. The thing is, if your happiness comes from other people, they will always drop it. You are putting pressure onto them, and when they don’t meet your ideas, you will get hurt.

It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or guilty if you realize you just lost someone. And sadly, as you go through life you will be rejected or left without any closure. Such is life, but please remember that you will come out stronger. 

I Would Still Struggle at Times

Lastly, I can say that I didn’t expect how I won’t have everything together in my late 20s. But know that it’s okay. There is no timeline that you have to follow in order to be satisfied and successful in life. 

I’m still wondering what else I want to do, and I feel like I am on my way to something more. I know that we are raised to fear and avoid failure so when it finally happens, we don’t know what to do. Let me tell you this; there is no such thing as permanent failure. It may feel like it’s impossible to get back up, but it will happen. 

Accept that even though you’re an “adult”, you won’t get everything perfectly. Learning is a lifelong process, so take every setback as a lesson. You will be alright. Learn to take things less seriously, and don’t forget to enjoy the process. 

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