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I Am Not Into Casual Dating

I’m not into casual dating — at least not anymore. I learned my lessons all too well. And they came at a high price.

Casual dating

Casual relationships are painful. They exhaust your strength. They drain your efforts. They take everything you have, and they give you something half-assed in return.

That’s why I’m not into casual dating — at least not anymore. I learned my lessons all too well. And they came at a high price..the price of a broken heart and shattered dreams.

That’s why I know better now. I know I’m not into casual dating. I want a committed relationship or nothing at all.

Casual relationships put you in the position of a bystander. All the happiness and love are before your eyes, but you are never able to fully reach it or entirely feel it.

Casual dating is playing games. It’s a never-ending game of cat and mouse. It’s back and forth. It’s love and lust. It’s a lack of love and a lack of trust.

In that game, one side is left intact while the other is left bleeding on the floor. Regardless of what you say to yourself, you are bound to fall for that other person.

That’s why whether you want it or not, you fall deeply for that person you are just seeing, you are just dating, you are just kissing, you are just getting to know beyond the physical.

You talk. You get into sweet nothings and deep conversations, and you start realizing that there is something more to this person than meets the eye. You see that there is something special and unique about them. You find yourself in their tight hug, and you never want to leave. And you fall for them. You fall for them hard even though you had no intention to.

So you find yourself wanting to turn things around. You find yourself wanting to change casual into real.

So you do your best. You make all the efforts. You go above and beyond for that other person. You pour your heart out, and you tell them that you care more.

And they might play along for a while. They tell you that you that they care to but…they are not ready for a relationship, they don’t want to complicate things, they don’t like labels, etc.

You see, there is always that BUT when it comes to turning casual into real relationships. And you will want to turn them even though you thought at the beginning, you are in it just for the fun.

But you can’t stop your feelings; you can’t control them. You can’t switch them on and off as you like it. They are there, and you can’t fight them.

So you start living in an illusion that things might be different. You start to believe that it’s all about giving somebody time to get where they need to get, so you could be together.

Being in something casual is not having enough of anything. It’s never having enough time to spend together. It’s being physically present but not being there emotionally.

It’s all the texts that never came when you needed them, and all those that were left unanswered. It’s half of the affection, drops of attention and flashes of happiness.

That’s why I am not into casual dating. I am not into fuckboys who are unable to commit. I am not into men who say that are not ready now because they won’t be ready later either—at least not for me.

I need a real man, a real relationship and real love. There is no more room for casual in my life—it’s all or nothing. 

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