I Am Grateful I Didn’t Have a Daughter

Words I never thought I’d say

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My beautiful family of 7
My beautiful family of 7

When I found out I was pregnant with my third child, I for sure thought it was a girl! Aside from the fact that we already had 4 boys in my house (2 from him, 1 from me and 1 together), my lover texted me a few weeks prior saying “I want a girl.” Well, guess what? Right after that, I found out I was pregnant! I think it happened from the text message!

The craziness doesn’t stop there. At the same time, I was helping my girlfriend manifest a baby girl. I told her ‘when you get pregnant, I will be pregnant too!’ So, get this. She texted me on 4th of July weekend, while I was vacationing in the Cayman Islands and craving mimosas and pina coladas. She said, “I’m pregnant with twins!!!” I turned around to my lover and said ‘holy shit, we are pregnant with a girl!’

I went from ecstatic to scared, to elated, then overall terrified. We just had a baby 6 months prior. What did we do? What have I done? How did this happen AGAIN? I wasn’t even down all the baby weight. But then I thought, it doesn’t matter. I’m going to have a beautiful little girl. 

You can imagine the shock that came with the phone call at 10 weeks (because in today’s day and age you can know that early if you are 35 or over). The nurse practitioner said “Congratulations! You are having a boy.”

A boy? I thought. Another boy? Nooooo! I didn’t want a boy! How could this have happened? I did everything right. I was grateful for her. I helped my friend align in the energy.

I cried for weeks. I felt terrible for it. But boy, did he let me have it, because I threw up for 4 months! The bonus? I lost 12 of the 15 pounds I needed to lose from baby number one. The mom guilt was real, though. I felt so bad about not wanting him. 

Fast forward to March 8, 2015 when the bestest, cutest little human was born. We went from a family of 6 to a family of 7, with 5 boys total! I didn’t realize that I would ever be grateful for not having a girl until recently. They say that boys are so much easier than girls until you meet mine. 

Watching him/them grow, and seeing how my career has flourished, I realize now why I didn’t have a girl. I love my children, I love being an acupuncturist, an author, a speaker, a leader, but I don’t love being a mom. I don’t love bath time or morning routines. I don’t like soccer games or PTA meetings. Having a girl would’ve been SO much more work for me. 

The hair brushing and washing makes me cringe. I don’t even want to wash my own hair!! I can’t imagine having to take care of another set of beautiful long hair. Plus the hormones! I look at my boys, and think, omg what if they had my hormones in the female form!

So to all the girl moms, hats off to you! You are amazing for all the extras you have to do and deal with it. As for me, I am praying that my 5 boys bring me a whole lot of granddaughters!

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