How you can avoid the Relationship Lesson I Needed to Learn

The mistake to avoid toxic relationships that you can skip, by learning how I failed to employ the lessons on 'how to find the right person' and 'what "True Love" is,' that I'd taught to dozens of people before applying it myself to find my most wonderful person.

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Is finding the right person over shadowed by your wrong person magnet?

Let’s start here

I’ve been a happily married introvert for nearly 13 years. We have seven children total, one in a debilitating condition, three frontline workers, an emergency technician, one an HR manager, and my oldest, a PhD, who I’ll share a bit about her and why I needed this lesson.

Wait for your right person

Travel Talks

During our weekly three-hour drives to and from her college dorm, I thought it was a good idea to express to my daughter What True Love Is and How to get a good man. Both lessons were explained in my book, except for this very one crucial rule:

Get to know potential partners as friends first. No kissing or beyond. No staying over past 8:00pm. No claiming a mate for six months to five years after meeting them. That will give you time to get to know who they really are.

Why the time constraint?

This way, potential ‘use you’ friends will drop off. The one remaining will be there because s/he really cares about you and wants to take good care of you. Be sure it goes both ways. You should really care about him/her and want to take good care of him/her.

This may seem a bit harsh to you, but she did it just as I had laid it out for her. As a result, I feel she married the best person she could have met. Years later, after many failed relationships, I decided that’s what I wanted for myself. I wanted to meet the best person for me. This was years before I met my wife.

Determination

I had gone back to college long after my art school and music college days. My daughter and I attended college during the same time. I’d taken a big bite, attending literary, engineering and business schools simultaneously.

I was determined to graduate. My bike brakes locked during a ride a few months before graduation. I went flying over it, my face smashed into the pavement. The doctors replanted my teeth, wired my jaw, sewed my lip and nose back on and wrapped my broken arm in a cast. I was a wreck.

I guess some people would have quit. With no other way to bring in money, I went to work the next day. I walked in the door, mouth wired, cast on under my suit coat, ready to talk with customers. My manager took one looked at me and said, “You don’t look like you’re ready to do business. Go home and let us know when you feel better.”

During a follow up visit four weeks later, the doctors told me I was healing too fast. They rushed me into the cast removal room to take the cast off. This was two weeks early, which allowed me to continue my studies without the restraint.

The accident happened in October of 2007. I graduated all three schools in December of 2007. I’m grateful to have healed and able to share my story, but I guess my accident really ground in the lessons from my last class, an online elective, Our environment and the elements.

I thoroughly enjoyed our talks while taking my daughter to and from school, and teaching her the power of true love. The problem was, yes, I’d taught her, but I never put my own concepts and understandings into practice for myself. Like most people, I had allowed myself to select by situations and emotions. After entering each relationship, I’d scold myself, knowing I went about it all wrong.

I’d experienced failed relationship after failed relationship, many of which were super argumentative, to the level of toxicity. It was only after I’d made up my mind to live by what I knew as a best practice for discovering someone I really fit with, to stop making choices by what I felt. I decided enough was enough. I wanted to be with someone I could love with all my heart, who wouldn’t use that as a weakness. I made up my mind to limit my search for my soul mate by what I know is important to me, not just by some exciting tingle I felt.

Over 46 years studying True Love

I’d toured the region singing and playing music with a band. I’d taught school, dug deep into the theological dictionary and other sources, learning the depths of love from as many sources and cultures that I could grasp. It occurred to me during my studies, that the love the general public holds to is a byproduct of romanticism presented by a 17th century leader. It wasn’t meant to be described and applied like that, but populations have latched on to it because of the importance of this leader.

The words sex and romance were substituted with the word love. The use of the word was adopted and passed on through generations. Knowing this, I decided to be bold, it’s time the truth be told. I’ve studied the subject for over 46 years, to say the least. I’ve been able to truly live it out in the past 12 years. I share my discoveries with readers of my book. I pulled this special section out for you.

When my wife and I met, she reassured me that had I not been a college graduate, she would have never considered dating me. During our discussions I learned we had used some of the same techniques to discover one another. She is a masters L.C.S.W. and a psychotherapist.

Readers will find the techniques and just 14 things that you can do to begin training yourself to employ and live in true love in the book. But you don’t need to buy it to have this most valuable lesson. The fact is, there are are many more ways to practice true love. Although applying those 14 as a foundation will set you well on your way to developing a happily ever after relationship, in each category.

In Conclusion

In the final analysis, we both knew who we wanted in our lives were inside. Nothing worked for me. No one was the right fit for me, until I decided to write it out along with the process for finding her. The next step, most importantly was to commit to not settle until I met my right person.

During this time of world change, my wife, Liz and I hope this article has taken you on a journey that encourages you to seek the pleasure of knowing True Love and how you can put it into practice in your own life.

________________________________________

Tony Dee, is a bachelor in the science of business, he is certified as a neurological linguistics practitioner in life changing behavior, an Avid certified recording engineer, graduate in the study of writing children’s literature, the author of the book, Your Case for Love: How to develop true love for yourself, avoid intimate relationships with the wrong people and find the love of your life. He is also the founder of Your Case for Love’s ByPass Coaching Method.

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