People who know me, know that I went through a very very bad time.
My little cat Shanti, that came into my life only five months ago, died suddenly. She had chosen to be with me when it happened, when she passed from a living joyful funny creature thru the -in this case very painful but short-process of death to the other side, where she is an angel now. She will accompany me forever, and even that it is very painful. It is joyful and fulfilling at the same time for me, knowing I had her these five months and having her energy with me forever. She showed me so much love and trust, which I cannot describe with words.
Of course, I do not understand any of this, I often had looked at her and asked: “Why have you come into my life?” “Who are you (of course she was not just a regular cat)?” and now “Why did she have to leave again so quickly ?” So many questions and no answers.
Often we do not understand situations in life and I am sure there are things between heaven and earth we just cannot understand, which are much bigger than we are, but I am sure everything happens for a reason and that we are not always in control, or lets even say, rarely in control. Anyway, there are so many lessons that I am very grateful to have learned through her, life lessons that I probably needed and that I was now ready to live out:
- 1. I am ready to feel love and give love. Unconditional love. Sometimes when I cleaned the house because her fluffy fur was lying everywhere, I just did it with all my love. I was even laughing about it and telling myself: great, now I clean every single day without being mad, to the contrary, I cleaned and felt the love doing it for someone I love, even cleaning her cat toilet which she obviously preferred than just going out in the forest next to the house.
- 2. The joy and happiness I felt through her must have always been there. I am a carrier of love and joy, which I could not see until this cat came into my life and woke everything up. And I will have it now forever.
- 3. She showed me that I can take care of and feel responsible for someone. Before I left the house, after I made sure she had food and water and that she would be fine, I said goodbye, wished her a nice day, and could not wait to come back home.
- 4. As a healer, I deal with many emotions, not only mine but those of my clients. Dealing so closely with the emotion of grief has shown me even more how important it is not to ignore emotions, that we allow ourselves to feel them. They are real and life provides all kinds of emotions, good and bad.
Grief is a deep emotion that is hard to handle; we can feel abandoned by the person/partner who left, which can create another emotion, like anger. We can feel guilty that
we could not help early enough, we consider ourselves responsible for the death, we feel injustice in life, etc. I realized even more in my process that grief is something that is not well known in our society anymore and that people try to avoid that feeling and not give themselves permission or time to grieve. Of course, it hurts. I remember 35 years ago when my grandfather died: my grandmother wore black clothes, people treated her like somebody who was grieving and they did not tell her to hide that emotion. They let you cry, they come by, sit with you, they give you time and space for these emotions, and it was common that people would grieve a year, before changing clothes again back to more colors. These are only a few lessons. I really can encourage everybody who has lost someone, a loved one, partner, friend, animal, take your time to feel your feelings. We have so many tools today for healing, but sometimes just sitting with a friend and letting the emotions come up, and especially remembering the good times that you had together, are so valuable.
Not grieving can destabilize your life, lead to depression, compensation with food or other drugs, make you a bitter person. Feel your feelings, allow yourself to heal. Do not apologize for crying.
I am very grateful for my little Shanti and her love and light. And I am thanking my friends who understood and helped me through this. Namaste.
I am inviting you here to a little meditation. If you feel sad, if you feel hopeless, if you feel grief or anger, just sit with it. Allow yourself to feel it, accept and respect it, only so it can transform into something positive. Focus on your emotions and on your breath, with the breath you reconnect and feel calm and grounded.
1-Minute Breathing Space Exercise
This Zen-technique is very simple and can be done anywhere. For example, if you are at work
and feeling low, you could just close your office door for a moment or go to the bathroom.
1. Sit in a comfortable position with your back straight. Close your eyes.
2. Begin by taking a few deep breaths, allowing the breath to come naturally, without attempting to influence it, just observe.
3. To begin the exercise, mentally count to “one” as you inhale then exhale.
4. When you exhale again, mentally count “two” repeating this until you get to the number five.
5. When you get to number five, you can either stop counting or start over.
6. Strive for at least a 1-minute practice, or as long as you are able to continue counting.
7. As you breathe in and out pay full attention to your breath and try and direct your awareness to the process of breathing.
You can use this technique any time to stop and take stock of what you are sensing or feeling and use the time to check into your mind and body. As you breathe in and out consider the following:
What am I thinking right now?
What images if any come to mind?
What kinds of sensations am I experiencing? (Tightness in the chest, a feeling of lightness, etc.)
Practicing this kind of mindful breathing can be very energizing and healing for your mind, body, and spirit. Everything in life starts and ends with breathing, so utilizing these breathing techniques can help you in many ways.