…Into the mind of the Successful Entrepreneur Father
Anyone who has looked into the eyes of their child, and felt their heart
melting, overcome with a sense of knowing
that you would literally do anything to show this magical being that you love and
support them.
Wanting to create the financial environment to give them everything they need
(and some of the things they just want).
But what happens when you also want to be there for them emotionally?
To support them and teach them the ways of the world, but your business or
career simply takes too much time from you,
What then?
Looking Back
Many of us didn’t grow up with emotionally aware fathers, which means we had to
figure out how to be a 21st Century Man on our own.
To be:
– Strong, but not Overpowering
– Loving, but not a Pushover
– Confident, but not Rude
– Humble, but not Shy
– Open to change, but not lacking Stability
Therefore we set out on the journey to becoming “a real man”, complete with the
virtues demanded of us, and the emotional depth to connect with the people in
our lives.
The problem however, is that all too often men fall into the pitfalls of being
too nice, then too cold, double guessing who we are, or seeking father figures
in people we admire.
Concerned with not letting down the people we love or look up to.
Sometimes it’s simply a case of trying to prove you are not like your father,
or mother, or community… wanting growth on a very deep level, but not wanting
to lose yourself along the way.
When it “Could be Better”
You may have created a business so that you can have a life of abundance,
time freedom and the ability to provide for your family in a way that not many
have the opportunity to do.
But along the way, we learn that building a successful and sustainable business
can be tricky, and time consuming.
You may have even sat back and realised you traded a 40 hour week and secure
income for an 80 hour week and a constant battle to generate cashflow.
Then one day you find yourself comparing who you believe you have the power to
become with who you are now.
Realise that you just missed valuable time with your child because you couldn’t
leave the office due to that 1 thing that had to get done.
And sometimes you may even catch yourself daydreaming about client
conversations and cash flow systems… but then look down and realise your kids
have been playing in front of you for an hour and you barely registered them.
I think we can all agree, that is NOT what you signed up for.
When it’s Time for a Change in Strategy!
When you realise that enough is enough and you refuse to be an absent
father… neither physically, or emotionally.
We realise to have what we never have, we must do what we have never done.
So I invite you to take the steps below and retake your life, so you can build
a stronger business, and a stronger relationship with your family.
1. Be a Better Boss
We’ve all worked for someone who didn’t care about our work/life balance,
and just kept piling on the work until we couldn’t take anymore.
We sit around and tell stories, even compare who had the worst boss.
And yet, so many entrepreneurs treat themselves with the same or worse neglect.
And so from this day forward, set hard limits on when your workday starts and
ends, and keep to it.
After all, no-one ever laid on their death bed and said: “Gee, I just wish I
spent more time in the office!”
Decide now to own your business… don’t let the business own you.
2. Goals without Plans are just Wishes
This one will be full of Army quotes and metaphors because that’s where I
learned much of my discipline.
But the truth is discipline is simply doing what needs to be done short term,
to gain a long term reward… and to do that we need to plan and prepare.
Many of us work all the hours and still feel like we haven’t achieved what we
set out to do by the end of the week, month and quarter.
So it may not sound as fun as actually doing what you love to do, But as an old
Army Captain once taught me “Failing to Prepare is Preparing to Fail”
So be smart, get yourself a productivity planner… They take 20 minutes on a
Sunday evening to plan your week, then no more than 5 minutes a day to keep you
on track.
Do it for a month, and see the difference in your work output.
Once you become good at that, progress onto planning out your year, then break
it into monthly and weekly goals because the clearer the target, the easier it
is to hit it.
3. When You’re in the Room, Be in the
Room!
This one take practise… but not just that, it takes forgiveness when you don’t
get it quite right.
I realise you may have a million things on your mind, not to mention the times
we watch movies or eat meals, while also on our phones.
Our world is full of distractions and pulls on our attention.
That’s why you may need to work out just how conscious you are, before moving
the needle towards where you want to be.
- Unconsciously Incompetent.
This is where you were before you read this article… You were making small mistakes that were impacting you on a massive level. - Consciously Incompetent.
The first step forward feels like a step back… because now you’re a bit rubbish at being in the room and present with people, and you know it.
But ignorance isn’t bliss… It’s just ignorance! And it will carry a heavy price if you don’t progress on. - Conscious Incompetent.
Using Meditation to practice focus and catching yourself when you drift to thoughts of business when you should be with your kids… when you are consciously bringing yourself back and improving each day, then you’ve reached Stage 3. - Unconsciously Competent.
Practice anything long enough and your mind will make it automatic.
It’s like building a muscle and having to focus on your form, your breathing, your technique… but after a while, you get into position and it just happens.
At this point you have successfully reconditioned your mind and body to do what was in is own best interest, rather than automatically doing something which may cause harm.
You can now raise the bar on both your parenting and running your business.
4. Get comfortable with the Tiger.
Imagine there was a tiger in the room with you right now.
It’s not doing anything… it’s just laying there, but your mind can’t help but to be aware of the potential threat.
You see, you will never scale your way out of having problems to solve in your business. You’ll never reach a point where you have enough knowledge and experience that nothing causes you concerns.
So if you are operating on a “it will be ok when…” mentality, let it go, because the harsh truth is that your life will improve, and the quality of the problems will change, but you will never be with things you could be thinking about.
So accept that as the case, and trust yourself to be able to manage whatever comes your way.
But in the meantime, acknowledge those higher quality problems when they enter your mind, but then, set them aside, so you can enjoy a higher quality of life!
Resilience – you have what it takes to manage, should the worst happen.
And Finally…
5. Acceptance and Gratitude
No matter where you are with your relationships, finances or business… Right here, Right now, you are alive.
Chances are good you have all your limbs, you are not starving to death or under threat of being bombed or shot each day, you have resources available to support you and people who want to be there for you, if you let them.
And so for a few seconds, I simply would like for you to close your eyes… and take 5 deep breaths.
Focusing on your heart, your centre core (yeah ok, I know it may sound a bit WooWoo, but indulge me for the next 10 seconds)
For those breaths, focus on your core (some may want to place their hands over their heart), and simply acknowledge and be grateful for the life that’s within you right now.
In this modern world, acknowledging your own powerful presence is less of a skill and more of an art.
And so practising these core principles will see you through the worst of times, but more than that, they will help you to actually live a life of example for your children.