We all love to be nice to people, don’t we? But then there comes a point when we are done with being a “Starpro Sports” punching bag for everyone. I did the same for a long time until when I had had enough and all I wanted was to say “no” instead of “maybe”. As you grow up and mature with time, you do realize that you cannot live for other people 24/7. It is against the law of human nature.
The more you try to be nice to the people around you, you will start acting as a positive and calm person. In the end, you will be annoyed with your own self even when there is no “visible” reason. If you reflect back on your life, you will see that something changed your habit and you start pretending nice.
But the problem is that all of us have a few good habits, so what is the point of worry? The problem is being “too” nice all the time. Often, people don’t consider your likes as well as dislikes before approaching you! Thus, if you are tired of this, you start cursing yourself for that. After all, you really need to change it and here is how you can do that!
We all act differently then what we are in front of others. So for some time, just unwind that persona and be what you really are. Just be you! Some people might say that they don’t act a certain way in front of people but that all comes down to preferences. However, if you are someone else while facing people; take a little time every day to just breathe in your very own soul. Be who you are; this is similar to meditation.
The problem with “too” nice people is that they have a problem sharing their own opinions and thoughts. Thus they find it easier to just agree with the other person and do as they say. Basically it’s not their fault, but obviously, there is a way out.
Simply start with writing down your thoughts, so that you get a medium to express them at least. This helps in jotting down your thoughts into words. You just need to learn to express them to people and simply disagree, if you don’t settle with the other person.
Cut off from friends who always need you, but in return, they have nothing to give. They don’t even have a word or two of sympathy for you even. Know that these people will always take advantage of you being too nice. Stay away from such people as they are the ones who “use” you and your kindness the most. Quit being a people pleaser for them first.
You don’t need to make large decisions but start making them on a small scale. You can decide which color you will be wearing to college without asking your sister about it. Or maybe decide that you will say NO when someone asks for a favor that is hard for you to complete. Start with small decisions so that you don’t rely on other people.
You will need support because you are somehow changing your personality. You can ask your best friend to remind you that you have to refuse to someone who uses your kindness. Or you can ask your mother to remind you to write down your thoughts. Support is going to make things better for you as you will have people who will keep reminding you of what you have decided upon.
Many times we make a decision and sooner or later we quit on it because we assume that we wouldn’t be able to do it. Support doesn’t let you quit.
Stop blaming other people for someone you have decided to be. If you will reflect yourself as an “always available helper”, it is not their fault that they look up to you all the time. If you won’t be accessible to them all the time, they will eventually stop leaning on you.
Make your opinion count by putting your thoughts into words. Ask your parents, siblings or friends to help you out in each step. Start standing up for yourself by making your decisions on your own. Being too nice is only going to snatch your own peace of mind away from you.
Be good to yourself first and then to others. there is a fine line difference between self-love and selfish; learn it and preach it!