Community//

How to Stop Being Jealous and Create What You Want

Effective strategies, backed by brain science, that'll build your teenage daughter's self-confidence and make her happier.

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Community stories are not commissioned by our editorial team, and though they are reviewed for adherence to our guidelines, they are submitted in their final form to our open platform. Learn more or join us as a community member!

Have you ever noticed what happens when your teenage daughter feels jealous of a friend or, even a stranger?

Jealousy’s a funny thing; it’s an intense emotion that can cause all sorts strange behavior and prickly feelings for teenage girls.

But what if your daughter looked at jealously a little differently …

It is her mind and body’s way of letting her know she wants MORE for herself.  

That’s exactly what many of my new clients want … MORE.

More connection.

More happiness.

More confidence.

The Human Experiment – Teenage Girl Style

When my clients come to me for the first time, they’re convinced that everyone else’s life is easier.

So, when it’s time to dive in and create a step by step plan to feel more connected, more confident and happier, I usually hear something like, “is this going to be really hard?”

But guess what happens instead …

My clients recognize where the control lies and that taking the first step, when you have a plan, is actually easy.

So, I’d like to invite your daughter to start by trying one simple thing …

Observing Her Habits

  • how much fun is she having?
  • what thoughts are on repeat?
  • a typical day’s sleep / wake / nutrition schedule
  • how much movement / exercise is she getting

Is your daughter wondering, what’s so interesting about her habits?

Well, they’re actually responsible for many of the choices and decisions she makes on a daily basis.

According to developmental molecular biologist Dr. John Medina,

“Most of us have no idea what’s really going on inside our heads. Yet brain scientists have uncovered details every business leader, parent, and teacher should know—like the need for physical activity to get your brain working its best.”

Medina goes on to say …

  • Every brain is wired differently
  • Exercise improves cognition
  • We are designed to never stop learning and exploring
  • Sleep is powerfully linked with the ability to learn
  • Stress changes the way we learn

So, go ahead and share a few of Dr. Medina’s Brain Rules with your daughter.

Because, what if she could be happier and feel more confident just by moving, sleeping, and having fun?

Rule #1: Exercise boosts brain power.

Exercise improves cognition for two reasons:

  • Exercise increases oxygen flow into the brain, which reduces brain-bound free radicals.
  • Exercise acts directly on the molecular machinery of the brain itself. It increases neurons’ creation, survival, and resistance to damage and stress.

Rule #7: Sleep well, think well.

  • Sleep must be important because we spend 1/3 of our lives doing it! Loss of sleep hurts attention, executive function, working memory, mood, quantitative skills, logical reasoning, and even motor dexterity.
  • Taking a nap might make you more productive. In one study, a 26-minute nap improved NASA pilots’ performance by 34 percent.

Rule #12: We are powerful and natural explorers.

  • The desire to explore never leaves us despite the classrooms and cubicles we are stuffed into.
  • Babies are the model of how we learn—not by passive reaction to the environment but by active testing through observation, hypothesis, experiment, and conclusion.

Think about it this way … it’s your goal, as a parent, to help your daughter recognize that she makes choices every day.

Some are easier than others.

Sometimes they clearly boost her confidence.

Other times, they’re counterproductive and offer invaluable life lessons.

Either way, she has input and ownership over her ability learn and grow.

Here’s to cultivating a more resilient teen,

Shawna 🙂

MSW, Parent and Teen Coach

Cultivating Resilient Teens

P.S. Please pass this article on to a friend or family member.

We’re all in this together, and sharing resources allows us the opportunity to build strong, authentic connections.

For more information about Dr. John Media’s Brain Rules, resources and excellent books, please visit his website at http://brainrules.net

Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...

Community//

How to Stop Being Jealous and Create What You Want

by Shawna Warner
Community//

Fight For Your Teenage Daughter, Not With Your Teenage Daughter

by Kari Kampakis
Community//

Teen Romance and Dating – The “Talking Pieces” Guide for Parents

by Lisa Tiano

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.