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How to Stay in Control When You’re Not in Control

What to do when it all unexpectedly goes to hell

In Tarot, The Tower is a card that signifies unexpected dramatic change, and new beginnings. Image credit: Dark Tarot

Those who know me well, know that I LOVE my work, and I am ALWAYS either studying medicine or working on the admin and marketing aspect of running a busy Acupuncture clinic. I thrive on working long hours and I will admit to being “just a little” Type A. I like taking charge of my life and my business, and over the last five years, I have built a thriving Acupuncture and holistic health clinic and excellent reputation by being in control of 99% of every aspect of my business.

The 1% that I was NOT in control of was my physical, brick and mortar space. Over the last five years, I have watched as my original location in East Boston evolved. Massive real estate development and construction, noise, heavy traffic and lack of parking became a major disruptor for every business and household in the area. Commuting from my home in Quincy to my clinic was not making things easier, but…..I still wasn’t really looking to relocate.

A couple of weeks ago, an unexpected set of circumstances set some wheels in motion. My world turned upside down, literally overnight. The Universe had spoken! It was time to move and to grow. In 48 hours I went from business as usual, to a completely new Acupuncture clinic in Quincy!

This is a HUGE deal, for a lot of reasons.

This move meant coming up with much more capital, taking on more overhead, and to a certain extent, starting over. It is only a difference of 7 miles, but with Boston traffic, that can become a 90 minute drive. It also meant that I’d be taking the month of July off (with no income), as the new space won’t be officially ready until August 1st.

Risky…

While moving my clinic was a challenging choice to make, it was not the most important one.

The moment I signed the new lease, I was faced with a choice. I could choose to panic and be fraught with anxiety over the change, and angered about the circumstances that were out of my control and that had led me here. This is the type of reaction that would usually lead to not just negative emotions, but could also have implications on one’s physical health. Insomnia, muscle tension, heart palpitations, tension headaches, and “knots in your stomach” are all physical manifestations of stress, anxiety, and anger.

Spending a month panicking and stewing didn’t seem too appealing, so I made a different choice.

You see, the only thing you truly can control in the world, are your own actions and RE-actions. You are in control of your own perceptions of the events in your life. So, what did I do?

I chose to embrace the risk. Instead of being worried about increasing my overhead by more than 50%, I chose to get excited about having a larger space that could accommodate 100% more patients! Instead of worrying about my existing patient base not following me for Acupuncture in Quincy, I was thrilled with the possibilities of being able to become more involved and invested in the community in which I live. I was never able to do that while commuting to and working in Boston 5 days a week. Instead of experiencing those negative physical symptoms I mentioned above, I’ve woken up every day bursting with enthusiasm, creativity, and a sense of peace that this move to Quincy is going to be the best decision I’ve ever made.

This is more than just “looking on the bright side” though. To override the natural reaction of fear and anxiety takes training and effort. I’ve studied stoic philosophy and meditation for years now, and I suggest that anyone facing a potentially negative situation that they can’t control, to consider the following strategy:

First make a list of anything about the situation that IS in your control. Don’t take action just yet, just make the list.

Sit in a quiet area. Take a few deep breaths, and consider what the absolute WORST outcome to the situation could be. Feel how terrible it would be. What would happen, and how would you handle it and move forward? It may seem counterintuitive to focus on the negative, but this exercise is how I have successfully inocculated myself against adversity. It is the way to cultivate fearlessness.

Next, close your eyes and visualize what the BEST POSSIBLE outcome could be. Imagine every minute detail of a successful conclusion to the situation. You have to get very specific! Really FEEL that in your body. Do a scan and see what physical and emotional sensations you are experiencing.

For me, I saw the sun beaming through the windows, happy patients in all of the treatment rooms, getting treatment with acupuncture, cupping, massage and hypnosis, green plants in the waiting room, and a full event calendar of workshops and classes. My body felt relaxed and energized. Emotionally I felt peaceful, happy, and most importantly, free.

Now, compare these two outcomes, consider the list of what you are in control of, and only after should you decide on a course of action.

My mantra as I wait to reopen my business will be:

I embrace unexpected change and new opportunity. I am resilient and resourceful.. I possess great power and and ability to weather any storm, and to create abundance from adversity.

Originally published at www.maverickwellnessboston.com

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