If you want it, it will come
5 years ago I was on a short vacation on Bali with a friend that visited me from Croatia. Sitting at the table, in a cute little house in Seminyak, having the afternoon snack, I opened an official letter from the Foreign Service HQ in Zagreb.
The letter was stating my position was terminated after a year of serving in Croatian Embassy in Jakarta, and that I am to return to Zagreb within two weeks time.
My boss, the notorious ambassador, has requested my position be terminated after a year of service, without letting me know.
While still in shock and disbelief, I was trying to fight reality with alternative scenarios running in my head. Maybe it was a mistake?! The reality was sinking in deeper, remorseless.
But deep down, something snapped. A sign of relief and gratitude for universe dealing me the cards I wished for.
At that point, I’ve been working for the Croatian government for 8 years and I’ve had enough of massive inefficient state apparatus where any creativity, or initiative were considered as trouble-making.
My partner at the time got a job offer on Bali few months back, so I decided there and then I am quitting my job and moving to Bali.
Its funny how life brings us exactly what we need at the right time. Few months back, my mom, bless her, gave me a book to read by Wayne Dyer: From Ambition to Meaning.
Its about leaving the structures that support our ego and external values of achievement to open up to our talents, our genius zone and letting life flow through us as opposed to directing life, adjusting it to what society thinks righ.
That was the step I took. Intuitively.
My guiding light at those moments of doubt and pain was a vision. I asked my self what would you love to do, what would make you happy – and I kept getting an answer: art and environment. This vision kept me going.
As there are no coincidences just synchronicity in our lives, few months after moving to Bali, I started working on Eco project of protecting coral reefs with building underwater art sculptures.
I seemingly had it all: a young diplomat, with a dazzling package and once a yearly paid vacation back home. A driver, regular invitations to high-end cocktail parties, a beautiful friend from Swiss embassy to accompany me.
I only had to mention I was a diplomat and I got immediate recognition by everyone I met, invitations to parties, closed wine collectors gatherings, private dinners with affluent ultra rich businessmen…
It was fun, but didn’t do it for me. I was aching for change.
I disliked my job so much, that I was in physical pain. I realized I don’t belong there and was longing to do something creative, to contribute to the world with all my talents. It wasn’t just a random thought, it was a revolution bubbling from within.
Face the music
So I did it, I quit. Moved to Bali.
I worked hard, reaped great success, got the Eco project published in all the local media, organised several events and got sponsorship from an art foundation. I didn’t get paid as promised but instead was initiated into learning to navigate in the murky waters of private sector on Bali.
I got conned more than a few times. I had to learn the hard way doing business in Bali is not as straightforward as doing business in Europe. They will promise you a bus with 19 seats, only to show up with a bus with 17 seats so you take care of your extra clients as you know best (!!).
Printing your flyers may take you more than three weeks, because they are shy to answer your emails and they have many holidays. The web guys will promise to develop your website, only to delay for months and then steal your domain.
But my path has also crossed lives of many amazing people: trailblazers, researchers, daredevils, explorers. Just to mention a few: guiding lights from Bali International Women Association, inspiring trainers, coaches, designers, community makers, digital nomads, property owners from all four corners of the world. And not to miss the Balinese people who are the sweetest, most hospitable and gentle people in the world with daily rituals for respecting the spiritual world around them.
Bali has been one amazing blast.
So I kept pressing on, in spite of failures and successes. I had to work odd jobs at times, like writing for tourist websites, local media, organizing art tours.
I dug deep in my own talents and creativity. I love writing, so I worked hard on researching how to write, what articles get high readership and published several articles and got published in Psychology now, Elephant journal, etc. I learned how to develop word press, how to boost SEO, how to speak in public, how to organize tours, how to deal with immigration, how to ride on the left side, how to drive a bike, how to navigate the island with google maps only, bless them.
I started meditating regularly and eating well. I learned how to spend time with myself, what an amazing universe is waiting to be discovered there.
I decided I will work for myself and started a company that organizes retreats, which combined my 10 years of hands on experience in event management in NGO’s and the government sector and my passion for personal transformation.
Most importantly I kept expanding and realized I wanted to become a therapist myself so I completed the NLP training at one of my clients retreats and discovered I have a natural talent for sensing people’s states, hypnotherapy and healing.
I discovered my genius zone.
A powerful vision that I had recently about my life was that, before I quit my job as a diplomat and moving to Bali, my life was a drawing on paper, flat, and set in stone.
Controlled by my fears, looking to gain approval from others, living in a very limited space to make a change. Be a good girl, study, find a job, get married, the required lot. I set my career goals by what was desired, what was considered successful by the collective, my family, my environment.
After I made the changes, my life became 3D. I became a real living person, breathing, being, creating my life. With both successes and failures. I not only discovered my passion, I have been living it. I discovered my genius zone in the process too. Its hard, its dirty, its bloody. But its real. Its life, uncensored, in all its glory.
Just go for it, life will provide a safety net along the way.
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