I spent 15 years of my life in the corporate world, and used to define my human worth through my profession and the social status on my business card.
At the time, building a successful career meant the world to me. I was keeping myself busy all the time, always on a rush, wanting to do more and achieve more, and nothing I was doing felt good enough. I was a perfectionist, and that used to give me a sense of pride as if my need for perfection were a strength or some sign of virtue.
During my leadership experience, there were several situations when I felt like wearing a mask. That was very inauthentic. I wanted to look invincible and strong, and I’d been told that showing emotions in a working environment was unprofessional. Some of my peers perceived me as “too emotional” and “too intense.”
I was very caring, loving, intuitive and empathetic, the nurturing type of a leader, but I thought such feminine attributes were weaknesses, not strengths. As a consequence, I was often trying to suppress them.
No wonder I developed stage 4 endometriosis on my physical body!
Dr. Christiane Northrup, author of “Women’s bodies, women’s wisdom” and “Goddesses never age,” defines female-specific illnesses like endometriosis, fibromas and adhesions as “solar imbalances,” blocks of masculine energy trapped in the feminine body. Looking back on my life experience, I do believe there is much truth in this statement.
“We live in a solar culture that can make women feel like we have to be on the go and shining like the sun at all times,” says Dr. Northrup. She also explains that the energy of women (lunar creatures) is linked to the moon, while the male power is tied to the sun.
You see, today’s society has transformed many women into doers, performers, perfectionists, and over-achievers. The modern women lead families, businesses, corporations, and teams. Women are expected to do a high variety of tasks and often wear too many hats: mothers, daughters, friends, wives, co-workers, leaders, providers, and so on. Such kind of imposed norms and expectations can get frustrating and exhausting, while they disconnect us from our true nature.
So what is feminine energy?
- The feminine energy is about the intuitive mind: reflecting, feeling, experimenting, nourishing, empathy, vulnerability, compassion, creativity, inclusiveness, and collaboration.
- The masculine energy is all about the objective, rational mind: doing, achieving, planning and implementing, setting goals and priorities, fighting, and competing.
Men or women, we all have a mix of masculine and feminine energy inside ourselves, and we need both energies in our everyday lives.
For example, when we make saving plans and money calculations, we need to step into our masculine energy. When we take care of our body, mind, and soul, when we recharge our batteries with a healthy dose of self-care, we step into our feminine energy.
The masculine energy is also about giving, while the feminine energy is all about receiving. “That’s why the men has a penis and the woman has a vagina,” says Dr. Northrup.
One of the most valuable lessons women need to learn so they can restore their feminine energy is the act of receiving.
Let’s be honest with this one: men are much better at getting their needs met. On the other hand, women tend to focus on offering other people their love, time, money, care, and attention, getting stuck on receiving the same things from others.
If this rings the bell for you and you tend to prioritize others people’s wants and put yourself last, please know that self-care is not selfish; it is a necessity, and it’s fair. You are also a person.
It is a women’s nature to give and to nurture, in the same way she gives life to her children. For you to receive the best things life has to offer, you must also know you’re worthy of receiving. And, besides all that, you don’t have to play masculine to be a strong woman.
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