Marriage is when two people decide to make a life together, make a home together. These are two individuals, who may be very different and still decide to live together. Because there are two different families involved in the marriage, it is but natural for differences and fights to creep up. I mean come one, even in other relationships, there are fights and disagreements from time to time. Marriage isn’t any different. There are two people who may or may not have the same interests and opinions and hence there will be differences.
But the crux of any long-standing marriage is getting past the differences and still staying together. Couples may talk it out or fight it out, but at the end of the day, they need to move on. Richard Paul Evans revealed that he used to ask his wife one question – How he could make her day better, and this question asked everyday made things better for them. His wife realised that he cared, and he realised that real love wanted to do things for the other.
Dealing with differences can be challenging and differences are normal. No two people can be completely alike. Habits, traits and interests can be different for two people, even if they love each other or are married. Differences if left unresolved can fester and signal an end for a marriage. But if couples work to resolve differences then their marriage can last or at least have a fighting chance.
Every time there are differences couples must be supportive of each other. You may not be into sports but if your spouse is then you must attend those games that are important to them. Expand your outlook and think that just because a person doesn’t agree with you, means they are wrong. There can be two different perspectives, and both can be right.
Respect each other no matter what happens. The moment respect goes out, it becomes difficult to resolve anything between two people. Put in the hard work necessary to make the other feel loved and cared for. This can happen in many ways – buy a nice gift for your wife or complete chores for her. Doing small things like making a favourite meal or surprising the other with something heartfelt will work wonders in managing differences.
You may think that by giving a Vintage Engagement ring to your partner or getting an expensive piece of jewellery for your wife, you have officially done your bit to keep her happy. But if things could buy happiness then the world would be different.
Another way is to accept that both people are different and just take up the things that each one is good at. But it is important to discuss this before you decide to do one thing that you are good at. It must be a joint decision made with understanding and acceptance. Talk to each other often and love and trust each other. Communication is vital in any difference that arises. Without communication, the hurt and anger can build over, out of control. Talk to each other, even if you are angry and forgive each other for shortcomings.
Show physical affection. It helps in releasing pent up tension and frustration. Physical touch is known to be effective in improving moods and health. This is why mothers often give skin to skin therapy to premature babies. Don’t stop hugging each other, kiss each other and sleep with each other even when you don’t feel like it. It goes a long way in bettering the mood and paving the way for reconciliation.
Marriage isn’t just about love, but the determination to stay together no matter what. A friend once told me that her parents bicker a lot but have stayed together for over 40 years. I asked her why and she said that they were stubborn about making it work. So don’t give up, try harder and resolve differences and live a life of love and companionship.