NLP (neuro linguistic programming) is something I came across when I was looking for specific tools which would help me to support my coaching clients in a deeper way with overcoming mindset blocks.
My clients typically come to me because they are ready to move to their next level and make more impact. I’m a media specialist so a big part of the journey is helping them to not just get comfortable promoting themselves, but to thrive in scenarios when they are asked to share their story. That might be in a press interview or speaking on a stage.
What I have learnt on my own business journey is that mindset and communication are crucial when it comes to creating success in your business. It is part understanding yourself and how you can improve how you think, react and behave and also how you can better understand and communicate with the people around you.
As an NLP practitioner, supporting my clients to overcome their limiting beliefs and negative patterns is a core part of my work. Our beliefs impact our thoughts and our thoughts determine our behaviour. What I love about the NLP is that it allows you to create new foundations by re-wiring your brain. My favourite explanation is from Richard Bandler the co-founder of NLP who says, “NLP is an instruction or owner’s manual for the mind”.
Unlearning and Releasing
As a publicist who has mostly cured herself of visibility fears, I know what these mindset blocks feel like and how they can play out when you are trying to grow your business.
I spent many years holding myself back because of my own fears and limiting self-beliefs. On reflection, I had zero awareness of what was happening because I was used to the same stories running through my head. I thought it was normaI and perhaps I was always going to think that way. I didn’t realise until I worked with a life coach for the first time in 2015 after a series of major life changes that it was possible to reset those stories by examining where they had come from and why as an adult, I was still buying into them.
When I reflect now, I know that those periods of procrastination and not stepping out of my comfort zone weren’t down to what I consciously thought about myself, but a set of deeply rooted subconscious beliefs that were holding me back without me realising it. I needed to unlearn and release.
Why do we need to change the script?
We all have stories we tell ourselves which are often rooted in beliefs that have come from childhood. Because they are subconscious beliefs, we aren’t aware of them on a surface level, but these beliefs contribute to how we are showing up in the world. We can find ourselves self sabotaging our success if our beliefs are not aligned with what we are saying we want.
These stories can be made up of sneaky feelings that can creep in like “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t deserve this” or “ There is no point trying”.
Our belief system acts as our inner satellite navigation directing us based on our thoughts. If it’s not set to success mode then we are going to find ourselves hitting the same blocks time and time again.
Learning about how the unconscious mind works is nothing short of fascinating. 95% of everything we do comes from the subconscious mind. That means every decision, action, thought and emotion. It drives our behaviour.
When we talk about emotional baggage, I liken it to a stack of file folders in our subconscious mind where we store unprocessed emotions, learnt behaviour and outdated beliefs. All of these things are developed into the stories we tell ourselves.
When we have a limiting belief the reason it stays stuck is because our subconscious mind is always looking for evidence to support that belief. If we don’t create space by clearing out the emotional baggage it becomes overwhelming and our reactions can be more extreme and out of proportion to the external experience we are having.
Awareness is key. What many people don’t realise is we have the power to change the script and rewrite a new more compelling story about what is possible for us. You are the author of you own life.
Within NLP there is a specific timeline technique called MER (mental and emotional release). I have found this technique to be the most effective way of supporting my clients to unlock their potential and clear the path to success. MER allows you to fully release the negative emotions and limiting emotions that make up emotional baggage at the root.
I recently had a client who had been part of a successful start-up team and she had a big dream to share her story in the media, but she felt like people would judge her. On one hand it was something she really wanted but deep down she didn’t think she deserved it, so she didn’t take action.
That’s a great example of how we can want something but sabotage it easily because of old programming.
I have had clients go on to reach previously overwhelming goals after just one MER session like launching their own podcast platform and embrace their fear of being featured in the media.
Whatever stage you are at on the entrepreneurial journey there are going to be times when your self belief is tested
When you ask yourself
“Can I really do this?”
“Do I deserve to be successful?”
“Can I make money out of my business idea?”
This can then develop into negative behaviour patterns like
Procrastination, self-doubt, comparisonitis, fear, feeling disconnected from your purpose
Not being sure what your next steps are and staying stuck
Not ‘owning” your expertise and feeling like your self-confidence as the founder of your business isn’t where it should be
Saying no to opportunities that you know deep down would be great for you
Recognising when this happens and knowing how to deal with it is imperative. It can be very easy to lose time if we don’t know how to reframe and move on.
3 ways to reset your belief system
Stories and Language – How are you speaking to yourself?
What are the stories you are telling yourself? What language are you using?
Often the stories we tell ourselves about what is possible for us are recurring stories that are made up of outdated beliefs that coming from childhood.
The language we use when we speak to ourselves can be empowering and motivating or it can stop us in our tracks. How we communicate with ourselves and our self-talk is crucial.
Making a conscious decision to reframe negative thoughts as they happen will gradually reduce the “charge” behind a limiting belief. It takes practice but is an important step to take when it comes to resetting your belief system.
Visualise your Future – What do you want to create more of?
One of the most powerful things you can do to support your mindset is to adopt a daily meditation practice. 15 minutes in the morning is my recommendation.
I use meditation to ground me and also connect me to what I am looking to create more of in my life and business. I use it to visualise my next level. We call this “future pacing”.
Start by asking yourself the following questions and making some notes before meditating on the answers.
Really try and connect to the feelings and emotions and imagine yourself as next level you.
How does the next version of me show up?
How am I behaving?
What habits do I have?
What does it feel like to be this person?
How am I interacting with people and who am I surrounding myself with?
Once you have done that try writing a couple of paragraphs about a future goal as if it has already happened successfully.
Match your Inner Desires to your Outside Reality – Create a New Routine
It’s going to be much easier to create more of what you want if you are adopting new habits and behaviours that serve you.
What do you need to shed in your life – it could be old routines, people who aren’t supporting and inspiring you or lifestyle habits.
Think about what you need and your non negotiables.
What do you need to do each day to stay on track?
For me my morning grounding and visualisation session is a non-negotiable. It shifts my mood and helps me to start the day on the right note. It helps me to be more productive and creative and is the ultimate gift to myself each day.