6 Reasons Why Stress Dims Your Inner Light.
Are you feeling stressed out without actually knowing why? I can see the stress all around me. In people hurrying in the streets, children worrying about their exams, or employees who are unhappy and overloaded at work. The stress is wherever you look.
We don’t have time for our hobbies, families, friends, and for ourselves. Keep doing things have become a norm by which we measure success. Yet no one seems to be any happier by being busier.
I’ve discovered that I feel stressed for only one reason — when I don’t do what I truly want to be doing and what I love. The feeling of wasting time drives me crazy and definitely adds more stress and pressure on me.
We feel stressed when we think that some situation or task is way above our capacities to handle them or when we’re “trapped” in situation or people we don’t want to be.
Stress can teach us very valuable lessons about what we really value and want. There can surely be some challenges while doing what we love but this is the healthy stress which returns to balance once the challenge is over. But if we spend our days doing what we feel like we should be doing, it leads to unhappiness, depression, and long-term stress.
An interesting fact is that the body naturally returns the stress levels back to normal. But, it is our mind that cannot find ease again and is feeling stressed out.
Stress is a condition of our minds.
Busyness and stress is a learnt habit when we’re in unwanted situations. It can be while talking to someone we fear and dislike or when we’re in a job that drains us. Therefore, we can use it as a valuable guide to show us what it is that we really value and what we would like to know or do instead.
If you feel stressed out at work, there is a high chance that you either don’t like the job or some specific project, situation, or principles of your company. You can either think about what you would like to do instead or what you could change at your company so you’d feel more at ease.
Getting clear on what stresses you is crucial step on the way to reduce stress.
Discover your WHY
Become very clear on what kinds of situations bring you stress and also why. Go deeper to discover what exactly it is that stresses you about your situation.
Let’s stay with the stress at work example.
Is it a particular project that stresses you? Do you feel like you lack a knowledge or expertise to do a good work so you’re stressed that others will find out your weaknesses?
Or do you feel stressed about some person? If so what kind of trait do you like the least about him or her? Maybe your boss is too chaotic and you’d like to have your work and project organized. Or he is too bossy and you’d like to create own boundaries.
Train yourself to listen the guidance that the stress has for you. It wants you to change something so you can create lifestyle that is more in accordance with your core values.
When we spend some time discovering why we feel stressed we can find out important information about what we can change. Or otherwise, our mind will continue sending warning signs about something we don’t pay attention to us.
Instead of avoiding stress, we can sit with it and ask what kinds of lessons there are for us to learn. In this way, we can slowly begin reducing the stress gradually and also make empowering changes in our lives.
Stress is not sexy
Once you’re clearer on why you feel stressed it’s time to re-frame our perspective on stress. We want to rewire the mind so it values being in peace more than feeling stressed. The logical part of mind needs proofs and reason why to give up something. It’s like a baby who doesn’t like eating vegetable and we have to give her good enough reasons why vegetable is actually good and healthy.
So here you can find few very good reasons why stress doesn’t serve you in long-run to give new information to your logical mind which tends to sabotage us.
- By being stressed and busy you’re dimming your light. There is nothing sexy about feeling stressed. Do you know anyone who is really busy and just thinks about problems? Do you find that person energetically attractive? I don’t think so. When we’re busy we have no time to shine our light and be relaxed. It’s like being hidden in some cloud around us which is saying don’t dare to come closer to me, I’m busy. This is not so fun for your friends and family who loves when you’re relaxed and shiny.
- Stress make us age faster. When we’re stressed, we don’t breathe properly and body cells lack oxygen (Breath in Action, 2009, Jane Boston). The body also stores toxins from negative emotions and well-being connected with stress which makes us to age much faster. On the top of that, stress is also one of the most common causes of diseases such as cancer. I think that this is pretty high price to pay. It helps to be more mindful about what is happening to our body while we allow ourselves to be weighted by problems.
- Stress suppresses creativity. Have you ever taken shower or walk and then got an amazing idea? Creativity and new solutions needs space and light. When we let go of something for a moment, we allow our mind some time to reassess what it knows so it can nicely put it back together with new solution. On the contrary, when we feel stressed, we’re trapped in a hamster wheel rolling over the same solutions. If you have own business or just want to get creative with reorganizing your home then give yourself time to relax to gain a new perspective.
- Stress is contagious. Has it ever happened to you that your friend was stressing out and then you started too? Stress, just like any other emotion, is contagious. We can literally pollute someone’s environment by talking about our problems and what doesn’t work. Conversely, when we’re surrounded by stressed people, the chances are that sooner or later, we begin to feel stressed too. They can always convince you that there are plenty of reasons to feel stressed and your mind will sooner or later believe them.
- Stress damages relationships. Your family and friends want the fun and happy part of you. When you’re stressed it’s likely that you’ll have less intimacy and deep conversations with your spouse. Stress leaves us feeling separated from others in our little bubbles. These bubbles have tendency to make others feel detached from us too. This can be a vicious circle. Especially, when we feel stressed, we need more of genuine human contact to get us out of our little world. Indulge yourself in time spent with your partner or friends and leave the stress behind the door.
- Stop blaming others. At some point you’ve chosen people and situations in your life. You’ve co-created them and by feeling as a victim you’re getting rid of strength to change it. It’s absolutely okay to be honest about what you like and dislike in your life right now but then go and change it little by little. The sooner you begin, the sooner you’ll create the lifestyle that you desire. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is set in stone and unchangeable. Do one change at a time and you’ll feel so empowered that you’ll not want to stop anymore.
FREE Monthly Challenge on Reducing Stress
As stress is such a big topic for everyone, I’ve decided to run April’s free Monthly Challenge on stress. In the printable workbook which you receive if you’re signed up (if not you can do so here), you’ll get plenty of exercises which will help you understand why and when you’re stressed and also how you can change it.
If you know anyone who feels burdened with stress and could benefit from joining the Monthly Challenge with you, feel free to share this post.
Originally published at medium.com