- Worklife balance is a myth. Whether you’re working from home or actually going to a work site, there’s no such thing as work life balance and there never has been. It’s impossible to devote your full attention to work and family at the same time — something will suffer. As time management guru David Allen explained, you can do anything you want, you just can’t do everything you want. Learn how to say no to anything that isn’t absolutely necessary. For me, if it’s not a hell yes, then it’s a hell no. Unless you can’t say “no,” use your non-work time to do something that brings you joy and sustains you. Find a passion project. When you focus on life balance, your work life will improve.
- Change your thoughts and change your life. Do you focus on everything that’s happened to you? Why not reframe that to believe that everything happens for you? What are the lessons that you can learn from the curveballs that life has thrown at you? A job loss could be your impetus to start your own business or go back to school. An abusive boss may be what you need to get out of your comfort zone and look for another job. Changing your mindset will help you at home and at work because you’ll get much less frustrated over things you can’t control. You’ll soon be the go-to person because you’ve shown that you can be flexible and you’re able to pivot. Resilience and grit are key currencies in the workplace, particularly in the age of COVID.
- Forgive no matter what. Before you stop reading, I didn’t say that you have to forget. Anger and resentment impacts everyone in your life and it can affect your health. You’re either complaining to your colleagues about your family or complaining to your family about your colleagues. Don’t demand an apology and don’t dwell on the fact that you’re “right.” Forgive without conditions and treat everyone as though they only have 24 hours to live. Forgiveness is a gift, not to the other person but to yourself. Once you forgive someone, they no longer have power over you because they no longer take up space in your head or your heart. You don’t even have to tell the person you’ve forgiven them, but it helps. Acknowledge any role you’ve played in the issue, apologize, and then forgive. Even if you don’t want to be magnanimous, just think of how much you’ll upset the power dynamic with the person who hurt you if you make it clear that you’re no longer angry with them. Remember, the opposite of hate isn’t love, it’s indifference. No matter what they’ve done, let it go and set yourself free. You’ll be much lighter and a much more pleasant person to be around.
- Words have power. We’ve all heard about the power of affirmations and gratitude. I wake up in the morning and journal about what I’m grateful for, even if what I want hasn’t happened yet. I’m specific and I write in the present tense. I see, feel, smell, taste and hear what I would experience if what I wanted was true. Sooner or later, some variation of what I journaled or something better comes to pass. When you dream big, you achieve big. Think of that job or promotion as though it were already yours. But words are equally powerful when you speak negatively. Do you say, “I always get sick,” “the boss will never promote me,” or “I hate my job”? Think about what you say to yourself and how that corresponds to where you are in your life. I’ve literally gone to the hospital within days of telling someone they were going to cause me to have a heart attack or stroke. Twice.
- Have your FU fund and make sure people know about it. This is my most important tip. Never let your employer think you need the job. Know your value and then add tax to it. When you have a “forget you” fund, you’re not tied to either a job or a relationship for financial reasons. This affects how people treat you because they know that you can leave without a second thought if you see something unethical, get passed over for a promotion, or don’t get the respect you deserve. When I was in corporate America, I had saved enough to live for two years without working. My boss knew it and so did the board of directors. But let’s be honest, some of us are struggling just to pay the bills. In that case, start thinking of your side hustle. What skills are in demand? What kinds of certifications can you take online? How many other languages do you know? Are you using LinkedIn or Clubhouse to make meaningful contacts? If you have time for Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, and Netflix, you have time to learn something new so that you can level up your skills and be ready for any opportunities that open up either in your current workplace or someplace else.
Old habits are hard to break. If you’re a people pleaser, think self-care is selfish, have limiting beliefs, or have resentments that you can’t let go of, some of these tips may seem out of reach. If so, find an accountability partner and just pick one or two to work on. It will change your life. Don’t just survive 2021. Thrive.