As a matter of survival, the brain is very sensitive to anything that may be perceived as a threat in our environment. When we become aware of stress that others carry around us, it sends a very clear signal that we too should be worried. This triggers what’s called an “amygdala hijack” where the primitive part of our brain responds in a knee-jerk, defensive, reactive way rather than a mindful, responsive, or reflective way.
When we experience stress, whether real or imagined, it requires a greater amount of energy to be used in order to fuel potential fight or flight situations. This means we can become more fatigued as the day goes on, easily carrying fatigue, irritability or distracted thinking into the home where it can negatively impact our relationships with those we care about most.
People who cause secondhand stress are usually unaware of the impact they’re having on others. Most people don’t realize how easily the brain absorbs non-verbal cues, changes in voice tone or inflection, noise, physical tension, or choice of language.
If someone is aware that they might be causing secondhand stress, the best thing they could do is take a few deep breaths before communicating or interacting with others. Secondhand stress can also be caused via email, so saving messages as drafts first and spending a few extra moments re-reading for not just type but also tone can be helpful, saving precious time and energy in the long run.
The best way to limit the effects of secondhand stress is to become protective of your energy, building appropriate boundaries and establishing healthy habits that allow for personal recovery such as 5-minute breaks every hour, getting up to stretch or walk around for a few minutes, deep breathing exercises, mini-meditations, and adding more humor into your day. Being able to see minor annoyances in the scope of the bigger picture can help mediate the intensity of the stress, decreasing its effects. Practice seeing what’s positive around you by writing down a few things your grateful for each morning so that the negatives don’t have as much power to stress you out.
More quick tips for decreasing secondhand stress:
Stress can be a positive source of motivation if we have the resilience to manage it effectively. Stress only becomes hazardous when we’re running low on resources such as time and energy, and our brain becomes overly sensitive to the negatives around us. By far, the best way to fight off secondhand stress is to build in consistent self-care practices that allow time for recovery and relaxation. Simple things like moving more often, eating regularly, and taking consistent breaks can recharge our system so we’re better able to handle the stress that is a naturally occurring element in a healthy life.
Wondering about your relationship with stress? Check out this free Stress360 assessment to find out more.
Originally published at medium.com