“I think for any relationship to be successful, there needs to be loving communication, appreciation, and understanding.” – Miranda Kerr
Many of us have had a problem with a jealous partner. I have a fair share of bad relationships that I wish no one should ever go through. What I know is that there’s generally one thing all jealous partners have in common: they can be difficult to handle.
Forgetting to return a phone call or a text can be blown way out of proportion. The arguments can be quite intense, and it can put a serious rift in your relationship.
If you still want to be with your significant other, there are plenty of ways you can positively and effectively handle a jealous partner.
Be Trustworthy and Honest
Go out of your way to be honest to him or her. When you are extremely honest, there’s no reason for your partner to be jealous. Just tell them the truth about where you are going, who will be there, and when you will be back.
Whether they like it or not, tell them the truth. It may cause some immediate arguments, but you can always rest assured that you were honest.
Be Understanding
It might be difficult to be understanding when he or she is acting jealous. However, you need to try your best. Sit them down and talk about where their trust issues come from.
You may be surprised to learn some things about your partner that you never knew. It can shed light on their behavior. You may even become closer through the conversation.
After you discuss the origin of their jealousy, reassure them that you would not hurt them in the way they were hurt before. You need to mean it, though.
Some people aren’t ready to handle another person’s emotional baggage, and that’s okay. Don’t take on anything that you aren’t ready for.
Explain Your Side
While you need to understand your partner, he or she also needs to listen to your side. A jealous partner can really affect your day-to-day life. Sit down and explain which things were upsetting to you and why.
Going through your phone, showing up at places unannounced, and angry outburst can be embarrassing and invasive.
When talking, don’t use an accusatory tone but rather a loving tone. The goal is not to argue but to make your partner understand why their jealousy is upsetting.
Show More Affection
Think about your relationship for a moment. Do they constantly complain about you not giving them enough attention? Might they have a point?
When a person feels unwanted, it can bring out their jealous tendencies. Instead of arguing, try giving your significant other the attention that they need. Be more available. And spend more quality time with them.
Don’t think that it will go away after one date. Continue showering your partner with more attention. If the jealousy doesn’t decrease, it’s time to talk about it again.
Set Boundaries
Jealous partners may cross boundaries to gather information on you. They may go through your phone or computer. They may also search your space without asking. These things are a clear violation of privacy, and you shouldn’t have to tolerate it- particularly if you didn’t do anything to create a lack of trust between the two of you.
We should all also have a physical boundary that prohibits anyone from hitting us ever. A jealous partner can become angry and even violent. If it gets to this point, you need to call the authorities as soon as possible. You should never have to live in fear of getting hurt by your partner. This applies to both genders.
Go to Therapy
If your partner is really causing problems, it might be time to get professional help to keep the relationship together. A third party will be able to mediate the arguments. If your partner is unnecessarily jealous, the counselor can tell them that. They may even be able to give them tools to deal with their jealousy in a better way.
Going to therapy shows how much you care about your relationship, something a jealous significant other might not be sure of. The simple act of going is a way to ease their jealousy right away. It’s a good idea to suggest it yourself to really emphasize your attempts.
Break Up
At a certain point, you may be holding onto a relationship that simply isn’t worth it anymore. You don’t need to be in a relationship that doesn’t work for you.
How do you know whether you should end the relationship or not? Ask these simple questions:
At a certain point, you may be holding onto a relationship that simply isn’t worth it anymore. You don’t need to be in a relationship that doesn’t work for you.
How do you know whether you should end the relationship or not? Ask these simple questions:
- How long have you been together? Do you have children together?
If you are in a long-term relationship or one with children involved, it might be worth it to hold onto the relationship a little longer than if it is a short-term relationship with no children.
- Do they have a point?
In some situations, we cause the paranoia in our partner with poor actions. If your partner does have some valid points about why they feel jealous (such as you cheating in the past), it might be worth it to put in a little more effort.
- Do you love your partner?
Think about this one hard. Some people simply don’t want to admit that they no longer love their partner. Don’t string them along if you’re not interested. It’s not fair to either of you, and a breakup might be the right solution.
- Have they ever severely crossed the line?
As mentioned before, you need to feel safe in a relationship. If your partner has resorted to less than appropriate methods to keep track of you or has gotten violent, don’t think about it for one more second- leave!
A jealous partner can be stressful. However, remember that in some cases their jealousy comes from a place of love. They want to be with you so much that they are afraid or that they were hurt before.
When this fear causes arguments and irrational behavior, that doesn’t mean the relationship is over. It does mean you need to do something before it does end the relationship. These tips can help you and a jealous significant other become close again.
Remember that the good things are worth fighting for.
“Nothing is perfect. Life is messy. Relationships are complex. Outcomes are uncertain. People are irrational.” – Hugh Mackay