What scares you?
Fear often shows up when you decide to take action, to be bold. It’s that nagging voice in the back of your mind that makes you doubt yourself, worry you’ve made the wrong choice, and wonder if you shouldn’t turn back. This fear is holding you back from living your best life. It’s important to remind yourself that your anxiety is a storehouse of wisdom.
All fears are learned. None of us are born with fears. Fears of loss of love, loss of jobs and financial security, embarrassment or ridicule, rejection, criticism, loss of respect from others, and so many more can keep us stuck in life.
The most common reaction to a fear is saying “I can’t”
We contract, and often revert into the fight- or – flight reaction. Fear can rob us of joy and keep us stuck.
Fortunately, you don’t have to live with it. There are tools that can help you overcome it. Here are just a few…
BUILD A STRONG SUPPORT NETWORK
Surround yourself with other bold women. That’s what Carly did when she decided to change careers in her mid-fifties. She became friends with many of the women at her yoga class. Every Sunday, she has brunch with the women she now calls her “dream team”. They support each other through the ups and downs of marriages, careers, and more.
The more you’re surrounded by brave action, the more likely you will be able to step past the fear. Knowing that you have a network of women who will always have your back and really “get you” can motivate you to try new and exciting things.
GET TO THE ROOT
What’s really making you feel funky? Are you worried about starting your own business? Or are you simply worried that your spouse won’t be supportive? Are you fretting over publishing your memoir? Or are you nervous over what your mom will think about it? Do you feel if you were to level up you would be more visible, which makes you feel uncomfortable? Do you worry that if you ask for a raise you will be rejected? Do you worry about financial insecurity?
Sometimes we fear other people’s reactions more than we actually fear doing something. The activity is easy. Dealing with the fallout can feel much harder.
ASK: “SO WHAT?”
When Alicia wanted to start a business flipping houses, her stepfather fretted that she would lose everything she owned and end up homeless. He kept bringing up the issue and eventually, Alicia got stressed and into a tizzy.
A kind friend asked, “So what?” She pointed out to Alicia that she’d already been homeless once before and survived. “Even if you fail,” Her friend said, “It’s not the end of the world. It’s just one more step in your journey, you’ll build mental resilience and learn something from it.”
When you’re worried about what could go wrong on your next adventure, take a moment to think through the consequences. Are they really that bad? Or do they merely seem that way at first glance?
Toby was all excited about worried starting a mature degree at open university so he could pursue his passion and in time change careers. His partner Pete was not happy at all, saying it would mean they wouldn’t see each other so much and it would be too stressful on Toby and he wouldn’t be able to cope with the workload…
Toby started doubting his vision until one of the lecturers at the uni pointed out if the workload got too much, he could always ask for an extension and that most of the student taking the mature degree were working full time and some were single parents of young children and had not only loved it but always found the workload manageable so Toby decided to follow his gut and sign up.
Some people find that leaning into visualization and seeing themselves with confidence and competence an effective practice. If you do this for 5 minutes a day, your visual image will eventually be embedded into your subconscious mind and instruct your conscious mind to make this into a reality.
The practice of visualization has been used for years by high achievers to accelerate their dreams and goals.
By feeding your mind with these visual images you activate your subconscious and program your brain to build your internal motivation muscles.
Lou is a public speaker. When she worries about sharing her message in front of a new crowd, she meditates. She imagines the event and focuses on all the ways it can go right and hears the audience cheering her, sees them smiling at her, and amplifies that feeling. This positivity helps her disconnect from her fear. She imagines feels it, sense
Some meditations encourage listeners to think of walking through a forest, a winter snowstorm, or relaxing on the beach. These recordings can be relaxing and help you release any anxiety or fear you’re carrying. If you would like to receive an effective, powerful, meditation, sign up to my website for my newsletter and you will receive it along with other free gifts… www.annieashdown.com.
Overcoming fear isn’t a one-time task. Fear will always rise challenge in you, no matter what you’re doing. The goal isn’t to get rid of fear. It’s to embrace fear, thank it for what it’s teaching you, and live your life.
What methods have you used successfully for overcoming fear? Tell us in the comments below.
WHO AM I?
I’m Annie Ashdown, Author, Success Coach, Speaker and Cognitive Hypnotherapist based in London. I write about everything I’ve done wrong as a woman personally and professionally whilst out there in the trenches.
I work with high achievers who want to conquer imposter syndrome, crush self -doubt, and de-escalate anxiety. I help them knock down the wall that’s causing them frustration and standing between them and their next level of success so they can get closer to the dream life they’ve set their sights on.
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This piece was originally posted on www.annieashdown.com