No matter what the circumstances were leading up to your divorce, going through one is never easy. It can be hard to conceptualize a new life without your spouse, but once you’ve reached your decision the only way to go is forward. Ruminating on what could’ve gone differently won’t help you much – though it’s easy to do.
Single life may seem scary to confront but there are many ways you can capitalize on this opportunity to evolve into a better you. Below are 10 ways to help you cope with the transition of your divorce, and come out even happier on the other side.
If you’re currently going through a divorce, make sure you seek the advice from an experienced attorney when dealing with the legal side of your divorce. Making sure you’re fully aware of the legal ramifications of your agreement will help you not only move forward from this chapter, but it will also ensure you do so with a plan that works for you.
Those who choose to avoid legal help often end up regretting their decision later on, either because they feel they didn’t get enough of what they deserved or were left with too little.
According to Florida divorce lawyer Steven D. Miller, a divorce attorney should be able to tell you with ‘reasonable certainty’ whether your divorce case will settle from the start, reach mediation or end up in trial. Consulting with an experienced attorney throughout your divorce will help ensure you fully understand your rights and obligation during and post-divorce.
Especially right after your divorce or separation, try to keep yourself busy. Down time can lead to ruminating on what you could have done differently or contemplating returning to a toxic relationship.
Try to take up new hobbies and indulge yourself in new experiences to keep yourself busy. Try that new kickboxing class you’ve been wanting to take for a while, or take up a new hobby you’ve had your eye on. Whatever gives your mind a break during this time, indulge in it.
Be weary not to jump into another relationship quickly or keep yourself too busy that you don’t reflect on the experience and how it made you feel. Make time to yourself to work through how you will move forward and changes you want to make. This will be an important step in order to not recreate the same type of relationship in the future. Give yourself time to do this, as the answers won’t (and shouldn’t) be so clear to you quickly after a divorce. If they are, you may not be digging deep enough.
You can, and probably should, spend some time enjoying the fond memories of your relationship. Allocate some time to binge through albums and good experiences, and even let yourself have a good cry. Then once you feel like you’ve gotten it out, put all those memories in a box, lock it up and throw away the key. There’s no room for ruminating in those memories where you’re going, and having any memorabilia around won’t make it easier. Indulge in the good times then let them go.
Now is the perfect time to pick up that active sport you always wanted to. Join an intramural team, take classes you’ve been on the fence about – get moving. Physical exercise is a great way to relieve stress, as your body releases endorphins – the “happy” hormone.
Getting fresh air from time to time can really do wonders to the soul. Head out hiking, either alone or with friends, and see how you feel. Doing so can help you reach peace of mind, even if just throughout the hike.
This will only hurt you in the long run. You should give yourself time to deal with all the stress that comes with a divorce. Jumping into a new relationship could end up leading you to an even more difficult dynamic down the road. Learn to be on your own before you look into being with another person again. You’ll thank yourself later.
A divorce is always a hard undertaking, and it’s important your put yourself, and mental health, first when moving forward.