Ten years ago my son was diagnosed with hip dysplasia, age there months.
Four years ago today he had a major operation to break and recreate his pelvis, his 6th major surgical procedure in his short, precious life. It was the most horrific day of our lives and I saw things no mother wants to see and I just couldn’t take away the pain and suffering for the most amazing little boy who just looked at me as if to say – ‘help me mummy. ‘
Three years ago today we have our first taste of fireworks living by the sea – watching them on the beach is pretty awesome, but it didn’t take away the pain of what was really going on. Fear, unrest, a deep feeling of worry and failure.
Two years ago I was working on my first real PR project for a longtime, a really longtime.
On paper it was pretty easy and a world away from the multi-agency TV career I had a decade earlier.
But imposter syndrome was real, the fear of failure took over and I remember feeling as if I was somewhere a long way away from what where I wanted to be.
I was lost and broken after spending years with my son have orthopaedic surgery, and I honestly didn’t know what to do and it was if my PR career had slipped away as my babies slept and I grappled with medical jargon and hospital stays to fix a hip socket more stubborn than Sir Andy Murray’s!
I had no contacts.
No one I knew I could email and say, hey what about this great client.
I sat at my desk crying and thinking that I couldn’t start over again.
I really thought about packing it all in and that my PR career days were over.
But something in the back of my mind said, don’t you bloody dare.
I picked myself, I got that project done and I decided to build up the empire that life’s unfairness had taken down and packed away.
Blood, sweat and tears were part of the parcel, as were more operations for my son and long separations from his brother who’s easy ways layered on even more guilt than I had already put in my bag so it could weigh me down on a daily basis.
Time has gone by.
We moved to the beach.
My client list grew and the confidence I once took for granted in the same way I didn’t my expense account and PA, came back.
Last night looked in my inbox and screamed a little at an email from the Sunday Times, also had emails from contacts at Coast, Good to Know, Stella, Metro, Pick Me Up, a new online magazine, and Kindred Spirit – just from today.
I called a client to tell her and almost jumped down the line in excitement.
I was in the Mail on Sunday last week and have lots of coverage for my PR book that’s out at the end of the month.
A second book.
One I was absolutely determined to get out to the world.
People say everythng happens for a reason, and while I hated that saying, it is so true.
No, my little boy didn’t have cancer and it wasn’t terminal (you would be amazing at how many times that is trotted out) thank goodness – but I was bereft of the child I expected, my toddler didn’t have the mum he had once had and my marriage was a whole lot bumper than we expected.
But, on reflection it lead us to be a life we love and a mantra that you have to live each day as it comes!
You don’t know what is coming, so make the most of every moment.
I bang on about this and some people might get sick of it.
Have a dream and work hard to make it come true.
It might not happen today.
Tomorrow might be too soon.
But don’t look back in a month, year or decade and wish you had made that leap of faith.
Today I am happier than ever.
I have a burning ambition for my sons to be happy and healthy.
I want to shine, and you know what? I want you to shine as well.
Today my ten year old smile as he went to school and came home smiling and telling me about playing football and swimming.
Life can change in a moment, it can also get better in time.
As you were.
PR School Your Time to Shine is out on 29th November and might just change your life.