Motivational speaker and author, Steve Maraboli mentions in his book Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience that unless we don’t let go, unless we forgive ourselves and the situation, we cannot move forward and it’s quite true.
The very thing that makes us human is our ability to feel emotions. When it comes to pain, whether it is physical or emotional, we all have experienced hurt at some point in our lives. We play these mistakes again and again in our heads, holding on to the shame and regret, which shapes how we act in the present. To get rid of being stuck in the cycle, we need to accept the past, and let go of it. This possible once we forgive ourselves and everyone involved. As mentioned in Huffpost, forgiveness is the act of breaking free.
Letting go at times seems like the hardest thing to do in the world. So, here are some tips to help you let go in a healthy way.
Don’t get too invested in the outcome
Expectations are like anchors that hold us down. When we expect something from a situation, it leads to fear about the outcome. Life is unpredictable, so there is really nothing that we can do to control how the outcomes are going to turn out. The best way of not getting too invested in expectations is to understand our boundaries and at times letting go.
Let go of beliefs that limit yourself
When we have faced a traumatic event in the past, we tend to lose our confidence and limit ourselves with thoughts that stop us from living life to the fullest. “I can never do that” or “I don’t have what it takes” are self-limiting thoughts that we have imposed on ourselves numerous times. These types of thought patterns stop us from moving forward in our life. Once you believe in yourself, anything is possible.
Invest time in your hobbies
Focussing on yourself is a major requirement when you are on the road to acceptance. When you have been through hurt it is normal to feel like there is nothing but hurt all around. Taking care of yourself at this time helps bring your focus away from the hurt to yourself and create the path out of the hurt. This is the time to indulge in the hobbies that you gave up. Say, you love reading books, then flop down on your bed, adjust the HVAC temperature to your liking and enjoy your book. You deserve it.
Let go of control
You have no control over how someone acts or what the outcome of a situation will be. The only thing you can control is how you respond to situations. Trying to control situations as per your wish is only a wastage of your time and energy and it will only keep you stuck in the cycle of expectations and disappointments. Let go of control and act in a positive way whatever the situation be.
Be open to making mistakes
The journey of letting go is not an easy thing, everyone gets that. You are going to have setbacks and you are going to mistakes, don’t beat yourself for it. It’s okay to make mistakes and look at mistakes as experiences that will help you learn and grow. Mistakes don’t make you stupid, they make you human.
Replace the painful thoughts with a positive mantra
Whenever you are faced with a difficult situation, there are two choices, you can either move forward or you can keep stuck in it. Moving forward from a difficult situation is no easy feat, especially when your own mind is there to torment you with negative thoughts. Develop a positive mantra for yourself that will help you cope with negative thoughts and always rephrase the negative thoughts in a positive manner in your mind. Say, instead of thinking “I can’t believe that I made this silly mistake” think “I am lucky enough to find a new path that will help me”.